All i'll ever be

I've never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a pretty good way to go.
It's not like Renee or Charlie would care anyways, both too eager to live their own lives without a kid in it.
After everything that just happened in Italy and sitting on this plane in between Edward and Alice I realized that dying was way higher on my bucket list than I thought. I didn't just jump of the cliff to cliff dive. I jumped of that cliff ready to give my life as long as Edward wasn't in it.
But now I realize that it doesn't matter. Even if he was there when I jumped I would have greated death with open arms.
To so many people death was dark, sadness, lonely and terrifying. For me it was peaceful the thought of not being alive.