when you need me most
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- Votes 8
- Parts 13
When you need me most, that's when I walk away.
I've spent years with him-giving, pretending, sacrificing-but I've never really felt the way I thought I would. And still, I've never fully walked away. Each day feels heavier than the last, a quiet ache gnawing at me, reminding me that the person I'm losing isn't him... it's myself.
People see us together and think it's enough. They see the smiles, the routines, the quiet mornings, the coffee he always makes, and they assume our love is perfect. They do not know the nights I lie awake, questioning if staying is worth the cost, or if leaving will destroy everything I've built inside myself. They do not know the small, invisible ways I've been disappearing-slowly, quietly, while he keeps holding on, unaware of how fragile I feel.
It isn't that I don't care for him. He's kind, patient, and loving in ways that make me ache. But sometimes love isn't enough when it takes more than you can give-and when the person you're with doesn't meet you where you need them most. Between guilt, obligation, and the pull of familiarity, I've lost sight of myself, and I can't tell if I'm holding on to him... or just holding myself back.
And now, when life throws new challenges his way, I have to face a question I've avoided for far too long: do I continue to sacrifice myself for a love that demands everything and gives only uncertainty? Or do I finally choose me-even if it means letting go?
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~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedComplete
INNER DEMONS
They say life is full of surprises - but they never said some of them would break you beyond recognition. I wake up every day carrying a weight no one else can see. I laugh. I smile. I play the part. But deep inside, I'm unraveling - quietly, painfully. No one notices the war behind my eyes. The kind of pain that doesn't scream, it lingers - slow, quiet, deadly. I've forgotten what peace feels like. I only know how to survive... not live. "I'm okay." It's the lie I tell, because it's easier than explaining the emptiness. My inner demons whisper that I'm not enough. That I'll never be. And sometimes... I believe them. Sometimes, I feel like I'm already gone. But even in the darkness - even when I'm on the edge - there's still a voice, quiet and trembling, that says: "Hold on." This is a story for those who suffer in silence. For the ones fighting battles no one can see. For the broken, the tired, the ones still breathing - even when it hurts. You're not alone. And maybe... that's where hope begins.
BROKEN HOPE (Lucas & Emilia Book 2)
I was so damn naive it's no wonder I've ended up here. Kidnapped by the man who promised me forever, just as I'd begun to understand the depths of his betrayal. It's a sad truth I didn't marry my husband for love. I married him for the life he promised to provide, and if I'm honest with myself, I married him in hopes one day he'd fill the void Lucas-my first love-left behind. Now after so many years, they're both back. And in my desperation to feel loved, to be wanted and chosen I've walked straight into this trap. All because I forgot life's harshest lesson... I'm not enough. No matter how much or how fiercely I love, the choice will never be me. Especially now. Surrounded by danger and at the mercy of my husband's enemies, I'm forced to face one final bit of truth. Much like love, hope is for the weak. I was a fool to believe in the vows and promises they made. In the Broken Redemption Series, one man's vow to protect the woman he lost becomes a battle between redemption, forgiveness, and the kind of love that refuses to let go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is Book 2 of Lucas & Emilia's Broken Redemption arc. For the complete experience, start with Book 1: Broken Vows.Complete
The Girl No One Chose
I gave him everything. My heart. My body. My secrets. He gave me silence-and loved someone else. I was just the distraction. The warm body. The easy f*ck. Not the girl he showed off. Not the one he kissed in public. Not the one he chose. Now I'm done waiting. Done begging to be seen. Because the girl no one chose... She's about to become the girl no one forgets.
A Garden of Dead Things
This book is my life laid bare - a story of pain, loneliness, and mental chaos that most people don't see. It's about the slow, unbearable unravelling of a mind caught in the grips of depression, anxiety, trauma, and heartbreak. There's no sugarcoating here. No fairy tales or hopeful endings. This is a glimpse into what it feels like to be completely lost inside yourself, where every day is a battle to hold on, even when you don't know what you're holding onto anymore. I write about the nights filled with overwhelming silence that screams louder than any words. About the weight of memories and pain so heavy it crushes the light out of your life. This story doesn't shy away from the darkest parts: the thoughts that haunt you, the self-hate that grows quietly, the invisible scars left by emotional abuse and trauma. It's about fighting to survive when it feels like there's nothing left inside you but broken pieces. But more than that, it's about the truth of living with a mind that doesn't always want to be healed, a heart that keeps breaking even when you try to protect it, and a soul that longs for peace but only finds pain. I'm not telling this story for sympathy or comfort. I'm telling it because this is real. Because sometimes, the only way to breathe is to say out loud what hurts the most. If you're tired of pretending everything's okay, if you've ever felt like no one truly understands the storm inside your head, then this book is for you. It's not easy to read - but it's real, and it's mine. Welcome to my garden of dead things.
The leaving 11 years on on going stopped up dating for a awhile
The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.Complete
THREE AUTUMNS WITHOUT YOU
I used to think I was living the life people only dream about. Everything looked perfect on the outside - the smiles, the success, the routine that gave me comfort. I had the freedom, the admiration, and the illusion of happiness. I truly believed that this was it - the life I had worked so hard to build, the one everyone else wished they had. But then he came into my world - unexpected and uninvited, like a storm that doesn't ask permission before it breaks everything in its path. He was unlike anyone I had ever met. A man cloaked in mystery, always quiet, always observing, like he carried the weight of a thousand secrets. People knew his name, admired him from a distance, but no one really knew him. And he liked it that way. He wasn't kind in the way the world expects. He wasn't soft or gentle. He didn't chase approval, and he didn't waste time pretending. His world was cold and guarded - his heart only opening for the few he truly cared about: his family, and the rare souls he dared to love. And yet, somehow, I was drawn to him. Not just to his mystery, but to the way he made me feel - like I was no longer the polished, perfect version of myself I had grown so used to pretending to be. Around him, the mask I wore for years slowly cracked. I started seeing pieces of myself I didn't know existed. He turned my world upside down. He didn't just make me feel - he made me question everything. Who I was. What I wanted. Who I was pretending to be. I became someone I no longer recognized - not the girl with the perfect life, but someone raw, confused, aching for something real. He didn't just enter my life. He changed it. He changed me.![𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 [𝟏𝟖+]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/366735281-256-k845863.jpg)
𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 [𝟏𝟖+]
"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫." [Slow update] They say love feels like sunlight after winter. But no one warns you - sometimes, it burns. Sometimes, it scars. I never asked for obsession, for manipulation, or for love that feels like poison. He came like wildfire - raw, relentless, unapologetic. My first. My beautiful mistake. He was dangerous in the most beautiful way. Gentle with me, brutal with the world. Every moment with him was comfort laced with chaos. His love? Honey laced with venom - sweet, addicting, and lethal. He didn't cross lines. He erased them. In his madness, I mistook devotion. In cruelty, I saw protection. How do you run from someone who'd bleed to keep you breathing? He saw the cracks no one else noticed. Whispered promises in the dark. And a part of me clung to them. In his arms, the world ceased to exist. But the next storm didn't come with fire. It came in silence. He arrived like a shadow - watching, waiting, suffocating. He didn't touch me - not yet. But I felt him, like smoke in my lungs. He studied me. Then he moved. And when he did, everything changed. He didn't want to love me. He wanted to rewrite me. His silence screamed louder than words. He wanted me to destroy myself for him. Now, I'm torn between two kinds of insanity: One who would ruin the world to protect me. Another who would ruin me to make me his world. And I can't tell the difference anymore. They circle me like wolves, each calling it love. But love was never meant to feel like this. Was it? I used to believe love was a gift. Now I know - it's a gamble. A bloody one. And in this game of obsession and betrayal, I'm no longer sure who the real villain is. Because when both players would kill you for love... What does that make you?
Tanner and Esme
Esme Things can become clear in a second. When I found Tanner in his office with that woman, so many things became obvious. Tanner's always held himself back from me, but now, secrets and lies come tumbling out into the light. He's never loved me and he never will. I'm no longer willing to be a placeholder in his life, and I have to end our marriage. Tanner I'd been married for four years to someone I didn't believe I loved because I thought I still loved another woman. A woman I had to give up when I chose to marry my wife after I got her pregnant. Now, the other woman's back, she's divorced and is telling me it's our time to be together. Just as soon as I divorce my wife, who's pregnant with our second child. The allure of the past was impossible to resist, so I gave in, met her at my office and my wife found us just...after. So many things became clear to me even before I looked into my wife's devastated eyes. What had I done? I knew what I'd done, and now I had to prove to my wife that she's the one I want.Complete
The Guy I Could Never Have
Some people arrive quietly. No fireworks. No background music. Just a look. A name. A violet shirt in a white room. You don't realize it's the start. Not until you're too far in. I didn't fall for him the way stories say you should. There was no moment of knowing. Just a slow ache that built between library tables and half-finished coffee cups. The kind of love that feels like a question no one teaches you how to ask. We were never official. Never obvious. We were playlists. Eye contact. A sentence that almost sounded like confession-until it didn't. And somewhere in that space between almost and never, I became someone I didn't recognize. Someone quieter. Smaller. And then... someone who walked away. This is not a story about the guy I ended up with. This is about the one I couldn't have. The one who arrived too late. The one who taught me that not all love stories need a happy ending- Some just need a girl who finally chooses herself. And this time, I did.Complete
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reserved
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