Until the last relapse
- Reads 19
- Votes 2
- Parts 2
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Tue, Nov 11, 2025
*They promised to stay-until the last relapse*
I've always tried to keep myself together-quiet, careful, invisible. My anxiety and depression are mine to manage, and I've learned the hard way that letting anyone too close is dangerous. But then there's Nathan, my twin brother's best friend. He's been around my whole life, always easy to ignore, yet impossible to forget.
Being near him is like standing on the edge of a cliff. He can make me laugh, feel safe, even alive-but sometimes, he makes my walls tremble, my mind spin. I want him. I shouldn't want him. Loving him feels impossible.
Every look, every touch, every word is a risk. He could be my anchor, or the reason I break again. And I'm not sure I'm strong enough to survive either outcome. Loving him isn't about fixing myself. It's about choosing to stay, daring to feel, even when I'm **one relapse away from falling apart.**
*"I don't know if you'll save me-or break me-but I can't look away."*
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Haunted by the mantra "I'm nobody," I echoed these words in my mind, feeling as though my entire existence revolved around catering to the happiness of others. Despite having friends, a constant undercurrent of self-doubt lingered, as if I were an anchor holding them back. In the shadow of my brother Adam's fame with the renowned band Three Days Grace, I was the family's black sheep, an outcast in our town. My academic prowess and hardworking nature seemed to count for naught, dismissed by my father as failure. Even my past relationship revealed a cruel truth - I was a mere experiment for my ex-boyfriend's infidelity. While my brother Adam basked in the heroics of our town, I felt cast aside, deemed a potential threat to other teens and shunned like a contagious disease. Despite my pleas for help falling on deaf ears for years, my existence seemed insignificant, unnoticed. The reflection in the mirror, one last look before I just contemplated ending it all, reflected a soul weary of pleasing others at the cost of my own emotions. With black lipstick, I scrawled a poignant question on the mirror: "Are you happy?" In the final, desperate act, as I pushed myself to the brink, a rush of relief mingled with the pain. Yet, as I succumbed to the darkness, a familiar voice called my name, disrupting the silence. Awakening to a hospital room, my feet tied to the bed, a blond-haired, blue-eyed figure lay by my side, a silent sentinel. Even in my darkest moment, he defied my wishes, standing vigil over the remnants of a life I sought to escape. The tangled web of emotions unfolds as I grapple with the unexpected second chance, questioning whether the bonds of love and resilience can conquer the shadows that once consumed me.
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