My Untitled Life
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I believe that forgiveness is something that we all deserve and something that we all must do. Unfortunately we don’t always receive forgiveness, but luckily that wasn’t the case yesterday. Yesterday I saw pain filled eyes. I saw love. I saw forgiveness. I saw God. I saw all of this is in one man: Daniel Nellessen. I saw a man who had wronged me ask for my forgiveness, and I heard him say how proud he was of the woman I had become. I saw a man who had seen miracles and healing and had been healed. He told me that as he sat in prison God told him to read the bible which he typically can’t read unless he has glasses yet he had none in prison, but God gave him the ability to read the bible not once but twice all the way through. A book filled with stories of how much God loves us, and he was able to read through it all, something not many people do. I saw a man who had been hurt, and I saw a new man in him. I saw a man full of love and the power of the Holy Spirit.
I think that my story, my family’s story is one that is hard to grasp. I think it doesn’t make sense to many people, yet to those who it does make sense to, God has used it to help them. Our story is one of pain, abuse, manipulation, anger, betrayal, love, and compassion, forgiveness, and kindness. And yesterday I got to experience just how loving and compassionate my family is, and saw prayers answered and a relationship rekindled and forgiveness shown.
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~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedComplete
You Are the One
Danielle Williams. The moment he walked inside the bar, I was drawn to him. I felt this pull. Then he removed his hood and sunglasses and I felt my heart drop. Leo. The Leo Cash. The lead singer of the band One Way. The guy who fucks anything that walks. At least according to the tabloids. I came to this town to find some peace. To find myself and to make my own way in life. Little did I know that trouble would come walking into Fifty's bar. This guy is trouble. I told my self to stay away, but when our eyes collided, I knew it was only a matter of time. Leo Cash Our concert tour was cancelled and I was suspended. At least until I get my head screwed on right. Maybe this is what I need. I just can't do it anymore. The tour, the band, the girls. They're just not enough to drown the pain. Not anymore. You see, I lost the only girl I have ever loved. I tried to move on, but the ghost of her just keeps on haunting me. So fuck the tour, fuck the band, and fuck the girls. I came to this town for some peace. For time to think clearly. Little did I know that walking into Fifty's bar was going to change my life forever. This girls is trouble. I told myself to stay away, but being with her drowns the pain. From the moment our eyes collided with each other, I knew it was only a matter of time. What happens when two souls searching for peace and solace find each other? Will they help each other heal or are they opening themselves for an even greater heartbreak? Find out in this short story.Complete
God-confident!
If you have paid for a copy of this e-book, please demand for your money back because this is free. Please feel free to give out a copy of this e-book to everyone you know who needs it. I have written this for confused women who don't know how to value themselves. I've written this book for that young lady who doesn't see her worth. I have written this for that insecure girl who wants to take her own life because she feels her life isn't worth living anymore. May God use the words in this to breathe life into tired souls. What makes me qualified to write this kind of e-book? I can tell you that I was once very insecure about myself. I have been all that I've mentioned above. When I was a child, I had death wishes. When I grew into a teenager, I wanted to kill myself or wanted to disappear and be invisible. When I grew into adulthood, I was so insecure about my own self-worth that I let it stop me from living the life I was supposed to live. But I outgrew all of these because I grew confident - confident of God and myself. I won't say that I've reached the perfect level of confidence but I grew up a lot. In this e-book, I will talk about confidence and identity. I hope you will take the time to take this growth development with me. I have made this a God-book because after all - God is the source of confidence.Complete
My Salvation (CURRENTLY EDITING)
Book 1 in 'Mend Series' He screams at me, slapping my face twice, 'You deserve all of this! You don't even deserve to live. You should die and do me a favour!' I shield my face, making him more furious. He stopps slapping and I had only few seconds to catch my breath when he kicked my wounded ribs from previous beatings. I screamed, thinking it was loud enough, but was just an feeble attempt to stop Aadil. At that moment, the flashbacks of me being tied to a rod, with my parents enjoying the blood pouring out started playing. It's repeating all over again, and this time I may not survive to escape. I was taken back in time. I feel I am back at that hostage room and me escaping to get out of this country is failing miserably. I mumbled with the little energy I held, 'Mum, Dad, please stop...' But again, it was of no use, as my vision is displaying full of colourful, dancing dots. My breathing is becoming frantic every second, trying not to pass out, but it seems my body doesn't want to keep up with all of this. If this is really my ending, so be it. With that thought, the peace that I always imagined is starting to consume me. This is the end for me. I can finally rest peacefully. The sound of Aadil's voice coming from a wide distance somehow is keeping me awake. Wasn't he by my side? Maybe, maybe he realized how wrong he was all this time. Maybe, just maybe... His voice, that's filled with agony, whispers in a forlorn voice 'I'm sorry Hayati. Please stay alive. Don't leave me...' ___________________ #9 in spiritual ( 29th October 2017) #6 in spiritual (10th December 2017) #5 in spiritual (11th December 2017)Complete
All because of love
Love is like a cup when it fells and breaks it is difficult to put it together. Like a heart that has been betrayed by love it is difficult to mend. This book is about what love can do to people, though you can spend years loving that person. some stories are about the people we fall in love with whom we don't really know and the hate that occured after that. but one thing for sure love is beautiful but it depends to the two people who are in love how they treat it. Other people are broken but they don't give up on love. They always have hope that oneday so and so will come back to me and while their wish is granted to find out there is no time left. Life is too short we need to love to the fullest. in this book you will learn a lot about love and its ups and down how people got bruised and hurt the pain and the scars that love can leave in our hearts. Let us not give up on something that is beautiful though we don't see those who come to us like jackals in sheep skins. The problem is we turned to fall in love with certain things but not the character. As love is not enough for two people there are so many ingredients to use in building a relationship. sometimes you fall in love with someone's eyes those eyes can be taken away and your love can be gone. Money can be gone everything can be gone except the actual person that you fell in love with nothing that matters. Loving is beautiful, to be loved that makes you shine.Complete
My Highlighted Bible Verses
No one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. You can learn by reading His Word, the Bible. God will let you understand what He wants you to understand, when He wants you to understand, and how He wants you to understand - He is the only one who really understands you. Are we living in the end of time? Only God knows that, but there are some telling signs in the Bible. The only thing we can really do is love and trust God. Here is how I post my entries - I open the Bible and post what I see, at least about 90% of the time. I really feel that God or the Holy Spirit is directing me. I can't explain some of them. Hey, I am just a normal sinner like everyone else. I need and ask for His forgiveness daily. I feel, if God wants you to, you will read my entries, well, His entries.Complete
An Unspoken Thing
They say when you fall in love, there's no denying it. Falling in love is the most special thing in the world, because standing before you is the one you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Once, I did believe that, with everything of my very being. It was incredible, undeniable as had once been said. Our wedding was so beautiful, touching some would say. I'd never seen a man cry before that day. Then things changed. I lost feeling as I became trapped, unable to pull from the web surrounding me. I would scream, yet nobody heard a thing. Cry, yet nothing changed. Fight, but I always lost. "Say you love me." I remember telling him. He would always say he did, then the beatings started again and I was back in a cycle of torment and pain. I had given up completely. Then one night, things changed. A miracle some would say, as the monster before me was no more. The car wreck had saved me. The memories and nightmares would still haunt me though. Overtime I tried to be happy, but his face, his hands, his spit, all the memories kept coming back. I never thought I'd be able to get away. I lost all belief in love and beauty. All I saw was destruction as I locked myself away from the pain waiting to creep back in. I spoke of this to nobody, and with that meant I stopped speaking all together. I shoved those who cared away, because I was scared. I'm still scared, but yet again, things changed.Complete
All you need Is love but sometimes love alone isn't enough
I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.Complete
Redemption
Book Two in the Grace Series. This can most certainly be read as a standalone, but I would recommend reading Grace first (and Something New before or after). Either way, enjoy: I spent my entire life trying to earn my parents' love and it just never worked. I wanted that same love Aunty gives me, from my mother. The same discipline Pops instills into me, I wanted from my father. I wanted comfort and care, and at the very least, their attention. It's all I wanted. But I never got it. Something within me still had some sort of hope that things could possibly change. I thought things could be salvaged at some point. I never voiced this to anyone else, but a part of me held onto that. That was shattered with the news they delivered to me. It shook me that they've been divorced, but what did the most damage was that they never even bothered to tell me. It's like they forgot they even have a child together. The people I lived and breathed for...didn't even seem to recall that I existed. That broke me. "I can't do this anymore," I repeat. Pops stares at me in silence before standing and disappearing. My mouth turns down in a frown, not expecting that, but then he comes back. I grit my teeth as he holds an item in his hand. I saw this very same item five years ago as well. The Bible. "Just like then, I won't force you into anything, Austin. You've got a choice-you always have. I don't know what made you try to walk away from the faith, but I'm still going to extend it to you." ~ Redemption: the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.
Contract Marriage: I've always loved you ✅
He fell in love with the girl he had a one-night stand with. When her true nature revealed, he hated himself for loving her and decided never to see her again. However, his fate took an unexpected turn and entangled him in a contract marriage with her, turning the girl he despised into his temporary wife. Will their love-hate relationship lead to a deeper connection, or will it keep them forever bound by the terms of their contract? *** As I spank her, Grace questions in a surprised tone, "What was that?" "That was for leaving your husband alone in the pool," I respond in a teasing tone, seizing her waist and pulling her towards me, stealing her breath. "But, my dear husband, you're pissing me off. Just move away." She tries to break free from my grasp. "Stop moving, Mrs Grey!" "No, I won't listen to you, Mr Grey. You told me you don't want me, so why are you here again?" "I didn't say that I don't want you," I whisper, closing the distance between us, my lips nearing my angry wife's. "It means the same!" She rolls her eyes. "I want you so damn much, okay? And I'm ready to regret it again and again for doing this. Today, I'll show you how much I desire you, my wife." I confess, my fingers playing with her wet hair, and my hand still firmly gripping her waist. "So tell me. Who is stopping you, husband?"Complete
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reserved
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