(WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK-RISK OF WHAT, I FORGOT THE WORD, BUT JUST TRUST ME.)
Welcome to Thesaurus of Euphemisms,
the only book brave enough-no, stupid enough-to dive head-first into the forbidden depths of metaphor hell.
Inside these pages, you will discover:
🔥 Over 60 AUs
that absolutely no sane editor would approve.
😩 A cursed vocabulary list
that will make your English teacher cry blood.
👹 Romantic tension that could power a small city,
despite being 100% PG and 300% emotionally unhinged.
💀 Smut euphemisms that should've stayed buried,
including, but not limited to, "forbidden yogurt,"
"trouser serpent," and "enchanted croissant."
(Why were these written? Because you asked for chaos.)
💫 A multiverse where Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook
fall in love across dimensions-
from Walmart to Viking battles to cyberpunk neon skylines-
all with the exact same tragic level of stupidity.
This is not just a book.
This is an academic disaster,
a romantic parody bible,
a literary war crime,
and possibly a summoning ritual for something unholy.
Side effects may include:
- uncontrollable laughter
- emotional combustion
- second-hand embarrassment
- milk exiting your nose
- the sudden urge to Bluetooth-connect with a stranger
Proceed with caution.
Proceed with vibes.
Proceed with... whatever the word was.
Thesaurus of Euphemisms
Because somebody had to write this.
(*Un*fortunately, it was me.)
PALAGING GALIT YUNG MATANDA NAMING KAPITBAHAY KAYA INAASAR NAMIN ITO, NAGDO DOOR BELL KAMI NG PAULIT ULIT AT KAPAG LUMABAS NA SIYA NG PINTO PARA SIGAWAN AT MURAH!N KAMI AY NAGTATAKBUHAN NA KAMI NG MGA KALARO KO. HANGGANG SA ISANG ARAW NALAMAN NAMIN KUNG BAKIT PALAGI SIYANG GALIT AT MASUNGIT...
Isinulat ni: Habel kien Cansing
isinalin ni: phokierath