PUSHING IT DOWN AND PRAYING

Her twin brother, Sam, had died last year,killed himself, though no one in her family dared to say the word out loud. Her parents had scrubbed his name from conversations, from photos, from the air itself, as if pretending he never existed might protect them from the truth. Their silence made Dakota feel suffocated and crazy , like she was the only one who remembered him, the only one still carrying the weight of his absence, the only one who knew him.

After Sam died, her smile vanished so completely that people whispered she'd had a mental breakdown or was on drugs. But it was never quite right. It was more like she'd been hollowed out, piece by piece, until whatever remained of her existed only out of obligation. Some of the shutting down she chose,because laughter felt dishonest, and unfair because sunlight felt wrong.
The rest of it just... happened to her.