To Be Someone New

Life was fun, until it was not.
All i wanted was to be happy, yes, life indeed gave me happiness, but they don't last. I gave up trying a long time ago after I realize that.
Life goes on and it ended with me just giving up on everything, that makes me wonder as i stare at the ground so far away that I am sure that when i reach it everything would fall silent, if there will ever be an afterlife. If it does exist, do you ever wonder what it is? Alot of people say that it would be a never ending paradise, some people say that you will be reincarnated without any memories of your past life, some people say that there is heaven and hell. If heaven and hell does exist, would i go to hell? everywhere i go, people say destroying the life that was given to you by god is a sin, but that seem, sad. People die to escape reality, people die to escape loneliness, people die to avoid the truth, and people die because humanity betrayed them. I wonder, what awaits me when I finally go to the other side?

WARNING ; SUICIDE, OOC, OC INSERT, UNIVERSE TRAVELLING, REALITY WARPING, SPELLING MISTAKES, SELF-HARM, (please correct some spelling mistakes if you want, but please do not be rude about it as english is not my native language) (adding more if required)