in English

As much as I never learned English properly, I still think in this language most of time.
It's full of mistakes and I don't care, my head was never a correct place.

It's like a diary but full of thoughts and no events.
My head isn't always a joyful place, as much as I like to smile and laugh every day, I think about my heart stopping to beat and my brain stopping to work every night.

I'm full of pain and sorrow. Sometimes even madness, it keeps me alive.