I Didn't Expect To Live This Long

Uncle J and Aunt R went to sleep two hours ago. They asked me if I wanted them to stay up with me, yes I did. But I was raised not to be selfish so instead I said "no you can go to sleep" so here I was alone in the house where being alone is all I've ever known. Mom and Dad went out. "New years is the adult holiday, you got christmas" which was a lie because they were out on 'secret' dates christmas night.
But again I was raised not to be selfish, if I complained it would just become another fight. It was snowy, and the city lights were still on but there were no cars. It turns midnight, and I smile as the walls shake from the fireworks. But as the hours ticked on, I couldn't sleep because I had this feeling, like everything I have ever known would change.
Five years later I still remember the feeling, like a quiet dread but having hope I was wrong. Alone is that white house on the bottom of the hill that leads out of town. The house that taught me how to be lonely. I somehow knew that night that this loneliness wasn't going away anytime soon. Like someone out there in this big empty universe was softly holding my hand and showing me visions of the future.
I didn't know back then how right I was.