Breaking the Cycle

I was the eldest of four children. My parents met very young and fell in love. My mum was just seventeen when she had me. From the very beginning, life felt messy and complicated. My childhood has so many memories and feelings some I barely understand even now. I've never felt "normal." Even as a child, I felt like I had come from somewhere else, a place I couldn't explain. With my mum, I didn't feel loved. With my dad, everything was different. He was my anchor, my safe place, the one person I could always count on.

I remember so many things with my dad. We spent hours at the beach, searching for pippies, oysters, and shells. I remember scuba diving with him, gardening, and fishing all these moments are so vivid they feel like yesterday. My dad was steady, loving, and present. My mum, on the other hand, left me with a sense of pain that has lingered for decades.