Ye Olde Pizza Shoppe (petekey) ft. 5,000,000 characters you've never heard of

Please bare with me on this one I'm bad at starts!
So here will be my first fanfic, I'll try and make it a bit of a crack (so be prepared for uncalled for smut and unwanted unicorns springing from Narnia) the ship will be Petekey, (revenge era c;) and set in a pizza shop.. This entire book is based off mskwyditd, (aka the meat song) this is a crack so don't hate on how crazy the characters are. Edit: this is a total trainwreck with at least 3 references every sentence, if there isn't in one sentence the amount of references in the other sentences will make up for it.