Renesme's Epic Fail: A Twilight Parody
ViaHeart
  • Reads 821
  • Votes 7
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 821
  • Votes 7
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
ViaHeart
Ongoing, First published Jul 13, 2011
beastialityrenesmetwilightvampireswerewolves
Renesme's story is a tale of epicness that fails, and of fails that are epic. Set in present day Washington, Renesme Jullen relays the events that lead up to her epic fail. Born half-vampire and half-human to a whole family of vampires, Renesme has never really felt like she truly belonged. Throw in an imprint with a werewolf who is more like a brother than anything else, and you've got yourself a very unhappy girl. At least, until shes meets Michael, the "neighborhood pest". Its love at first sight for Renesme and Michael. He's just so perfect! He's cute, smart, funny, charming, and....a squirrel. But, to Renesme, he could very well be a lump of poo and she'd still love him. Unfortunately however, her father, Edward, is deathly afraid of squirrels, so he doesn't exactly approve of one dating his daughter. And then there's that imprint thing she has going on with Jacob Crack...What's a girl to do in a situation like this?? Well, read on to find out which path Renesme takes, and how it will ultimately lead to her epic fail.
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The Ice Around His Heart MxM Twilight Fanfic

13 parts Ongoing

The ice surrounding his heart could only melt in the right hands, but you can't blame him if those hands are the hands of a werewolf. Winter After being left for dead in the cold snowy forest I was offered a choice. A second chance, or a cold numb death for animals to scavenge. I chose the first. I was never the same. I built a wall thousands of feet tall and as cold as ice. Nobody has ever seen the true darkness that lurks within me besides Carlisle, if only because he was front and center to watch it unfold. Now I lock it up. Stuff it in a box that I refuse to open. Many years later, when my family has grown and flourished, the border that the treaty prevents the Cullen, my vampiric family from crossing starts to call for me like a moth to a flame. I try to resist it, but soon I no longer can. That's the day that I see him. Jacob When wolves turn 18 we gain the ability to scent our mates. When my birthday hits, I know she's close by. I can practically taste her smell on my lips. When I follow the delicious scent that's supposed to lead me to my future, I'm not expecting what I find. My mate. Not a gorgeous woman. But the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on. We stand just a few feet from each other, but we can't touch. Can't feel. Can't mate. Because it stops us. The border that separates the Cullen's, a family of "vegan" vampires, and my pack. We are mortal enemies. So how is he destined to be mine? This book took inspiration from cold-hearted by Salem Cw- non-detailed sa of main character chapters 1

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