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- Parts 23
Mikael's free hand lifts slightly like he's about to touch my face, then pauses halfway there.
His eyes search mine for half a second, slower now, uncertain for the first time all evening and somehow that hesitation affects me more than if he'd just done it.
Because drunk or not, Mikael is asking. Maybe that's exactly the problem, because he pauses.
He gives me the choice, and for once, I don't think.
A shaky breath leaves me before I can stop it, and for one brief second my brain flashes with the terrifying thought that this might be the last time I ever get to do something like this.
Last party. Last kiss. Last reckless mistake.
Last chance to feel normal before everything gets worse. The thought should probably ruin the moment, instead it only makes me kiss him harder. Like I can outrun it for another minute if I stay here long enough.
_______
If I had just texted him back then, asked him, pushed a little, or at least stayed, maybe it wouldn't have ended the way it did.
But I didn't and sometimes I still think about how little it would've taken.
Anything but nothing, because in the end, that's what I chose. Nothing.
_______________
This is a continuation from 'before I walked away ' but this is mostly about Milo and Mikaels dynamic. New things are opened, wounds that dont heal, people that cant change and walk through hell to survive.
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Series
Before and After
Season 132 parts- Season 223 parts
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