Fallen Star (BoyxBoy)

I never thought I could feel this way. Hell, I used to wonder if I could feel anything at all. I was always so…. scared of the people around me. Never knowing when or how to say the right thing, I decided it was better not to get to close at all. I never meant to get close, but in this case… it was like… I had no choice. And though admitting fear is hard for me, the way being thrown into a pit of spiders would be hard for someone arachnid-phobic, what I’m really afraid of now is….
Him. There’s something terrifying about the way he smiles, the way that when he so much as tries to hold my hand it panics me. The way that even just remembering a brush of his skin makes my heart jump into my throat. As if I wasn’t messed up enough, I fell in love with a guy.
I’m wasn’t gay. I can’t be gay. I’m not gay. I refuse to be gay.
So how on earth do I make us work?