In The Marvel Universe But as Superman

As the Kryptonian son blessed with a body of steel, heat vision, and a bio-electric aura, Clark's original goal in life was simple.

Protect Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Look after his nerdy little brother, Peter Parker. Watch over the friends and family around him. And, if possible, enjoy a perfectly ordinary high school life.

But in a place like the Marvel Universe, things never go the way you want them to.

Then one day, one of Oscorp's genetically altered spiders got loose.

Peter was bitten. Gwen was bitten. Even their Asian classmate Cindy got bitten.

Faced with three freshly awakened, hot- blooded "little spiders," all itching to hit the streets and play vigilante, Clark could only let out a helpless sigh and switch into his behind-the-scenes demon drill instructor mode.

"If you want to be superheroes, you'll have to survive my attacks first!"

And so, under Clark's influence, everyone's entire style took a sharp turn off the rails.

Kingpin: "Who..."