Waiting for Sillage

Sillage (pronounced as "see-yazh") is the scent trail a fragrance leaves behind you.
Definition inspired by Fernweh Collective, Understanding Fragrance: Sillage and Projection.
(https://fernwehcollective.com/blogs/blog/understanding-fragrance-sillage-and-projection-a-simple-guide)


For ten years, I lived like sillage-
a trace left behind, remembered but never held.
So I chose yellow,
because it looked like the kind of color that stays,
the kind that touches both my heart and my skin
without shame, without hesitation.

Other than that, nothing and no one really does.

People just ONLY and always needed me,
My patience, presence, and money.

But wanted?
Loved?

Nah! It's always me who gives that.

And for ten years, I have been waiting for this night to come.

I am wearing my yellow dress, expensive enough to cost half of my college tuition for one semester. Not because I wanted Not just to look beautiful, but because after ten years of waiting, I wanted to look like someone worth staying for.

I have been living in sillage.

But when he said, "Come tonight. It's important,"

I came, thinking maybe tonight would be the night I finally step out of it.