the habit of lying - ranchuu

This is a new Ranchuu story, where Chuuya has an avoidant attachment style and struggles with an eating disorder, while Ranpo has an anxious attachment style.

Ranpo and Chuuya love each other deeply. Of that there is no doubt. The problem was never a lack of feelings; it was all they carried with them. The wounds of the past clung to them like shadows, turning something as simple as love into a daily battle.

Because while Ranpo felt butterflies in his stomach whenever Chuuya smiled at him or got too close, Chuuya felt flies. An uncomfortable buzzing under his skin that told him to back off before he got hurt.

It wasn't that he didn't love Ranpo. He loved him, more than he would ever admit, even to himself. But he had grown up in a place where love was seen as a weakness, where trusting someone meant handing them a weapon that could be used against you. He learned that depending on others was dangerous and that vulnerability was an invitation to pain.

So every time Ranpo tried to get closer, Chuuya pushed away. Every time Ranpo sought comfort, security, or simply wanted to hear the words "I love you," Chuuya built walls so high that even he couldn't see beyond them.

And that hurt Ranpo.

Because Ranpo needed closeness. He needed to know he was loved, that he wouldn't be abandoned, that Chuuya wouldn't suddenly disappear without explanation. However, the more Ranpo sought that security, the more trapped Chuuya felt. It became a vicious cycle neither of them knew how to break.

Perhaps they would never be a normal couple.