Letters To Angel

Date: September 1999

Angel: Still within me

​I am sitting in a quiet room at home. As I rest my hands gently on my stomach, I feel a tiny, subtle flutter-a sensation no one else could perceive, but one that signals a new beginning.

​I bought this diary because I know that amidst the chaos to come-the sleepless nights, the endless worries, and the overwhelming love-I might forget who I was before I became "Mom." Angel, I am writing these notes for you. Even before you took your first breath in this world, I wanted you to know how much I loved you, and what fears and dreams were held within my heart.

​I feel that I have found my purpose in life, but at the same time, a feeling fluctuates within me regarding the loss of my independence. Can I be "myself" again after becoming a mother? Or from this moment on, am I merely the vessel that brought you into this world?

​Please forgive me if I become an imperfect mother. Just as you are learning to be a daughter, I am learning to be a mother to you.

​I do not know how the future will be written, but I make one promise: I will record everything in this diary. Every tear, every victory, and every secret. The day you stand dressed as a bride, ready to begin your own life, you will be able to read this diary. By then, you will understand how we grew up together.