Jokes

Jokes

Reads 755
Votes 48
Parts 9

Ongoing<5 mins

Last published Fri, Jul 24, 2015

Non-Fiction

Tagsfhjbshjd funny hjf humorous jdnfjndjnfjdnjfn

Police: Where do you live? Boy: with my parents. Police: where do your parents live? Boy: with me Police:

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𝚂𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕.
"𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 30 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶" ~ A NYC LOVE STORY
Complete
✨tags✨
ℓσиg ѕтσяу ѕнσят, ι ωαѕ тαggє∂ тωι¢є ву му вєℓσνє∂ fяιєи∂ѕ, ѕσσσσσ...... gυєѕѕ ι'м ρσѕтιиg тнιѕ вσσк иσω ☺✨💖
Complete
𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅'𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒚 ♕ 𝑰. 𝑾𝒂𝒌𝒂𝒔𝒂
╰──➢ ✧;── 𝐵𝑜𝑜𝑘 1 ──; ✧ ╭ ⁞ ❏. 𝐵𝑟𝑎ℎ𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑊𝑎𝑘𝑎𝑠𝑎 𝐼𝑚𝑎𝑢𝑠ℎ𝑖 ┊ ⁞ ❏. 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ┊ ⁞ ❏. 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 13+ 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 ┊ ⁞ ❏. 𝐷𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 ╭── ೋ ──╮ ❝𝐼𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑌/𝑁 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑗𝑜𝑏 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑢𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑗𝑜𝑏.❞ ╰── ೋ ──╯ ╰┈➤𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑇𝑜𝑘𝑦𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑑, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝐾𝑒𝑛 𝑊𝑎𝑘𝑢𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐴𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘, 𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠. ╰┈➤𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑡.
Complete
𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨
𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧.
Complete
[OLD] you sink into my clothes... 😭😭
*all of the characters are 18+ I promise😭 ‼️LOTS OF SWEARING‼️this is the emoshunalanal storie of two alphas who live in Ysimc Town-The town of alphas. Aslika Cinck, an 'alpha' who lives there goes to the Alpha/Kitten Academy in hopes of getting a kitten of his own. Ooonne problem though..😂😂 He has NO abs 😳... uh oh! The other alphas will make a joke out of him... especially one named FUT FEDIS... The strongest alpha in ALL of assfuckia... these two that start on the wrog foot but eventually realise a few things about themselves 😳😳😳😳 what will happen?? Who knows!! v/cdvfsfv >_< Also read the one with WOMEN...😳😳(creds on omega arc part 3 :3) A joke I swear 😭 (I'm invested in the story rn)
Complete
IT & ST Imagines & Preferences
i wrote this when i was 13 so i'm sorry for how bad it is but a lot of people seem to enjoy it so i'm leaving it up, just know i am self aware x
Complete
Survivor
"What? Are we housing the French homeless now?" I snort again. That's what her accent sounded like, French. "Raven Martin Matthews!" My mother gasped. "Be nice!" She turned to the girl and lead the way, "Come let me show you to your room." "And oh to be clear, I'm French-Australian," she narrowed her eyes at me. "That doesn't make any sense," I roll my eyes and grab the suitcases, following behind them. ... Liz is forced to move across the hemisphere and move in with her godmother, Claudia, and her horrible son, Raven, yes like the black bird. Raven doesn't like people invading her personal space, and doesn't trust easily. And worse, he tests the shit out of Liz from the day she moved in. Liz on the other hand, is a survivor. What she is a survivor of? Read to find out ;)
Complete
Finding Maze
" aww, how kind. Is this your way of getting another proof that I am a criminal so that you can put me in prison. Because, if that is the goal, you guys fucking suck at it " I snapped. In one swift moment, Alex grabbed me by my arm and gripped it" you will do as I say or else.. " "What? Or else what? Throw me in prison? Shatter my life. Let's get one thing straight here, I am lethal just as much as you guys are, I will fucking ruin your life for all the crimes that you have done. If I am going down, then each and every one of you are going down. You think I don't know anything about you all? You think your walls are made of stone that no one can enter? Well, news flash, Alex I know how you are a shallow person behind this rude persona of yours. I know the exact reason why Rowling broke up with you. Want me to reveal each and every one of your secrets and make your life miserable than it already is?... " Alex slowly removed his hand".. That's what I thought. Now shut up and fuck off" I said and took my hot chocolate and walked away.
Complete

𝚂𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕.

"𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 30 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ︱𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶" ~ A NYC LOVE STORY

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