My Life Doesn't Make Sense

I'm taking a bath. The water is neither hot nor cold. I wish this water could take my pain away. I wish it could wash even my bad memories away. I feel free to cry because I can't feel my tears while being under this douche. I lost my mother, my brother and my boyfriend on the same day. I'm all alone in this world with no one to turn to. The whole school saw a video of me having sex and posted it on social media. My body isn't my privacy anymore. My mother and I are being domestically abused by my father who is a drunken idiot, my whole life is a fucking living hell! It just... Doesn't make sense.