My Life Doesn't Make Sense - Shana - Wattpad

My Life Doesn't Make Sense

Reads 242
Votes 24
Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 242
Votes 24
Parts 3
Time 9m

Mature

abuse action adventure boy domesticviolence generalfiction girl love random romance school teen teens wattyawards

I'm taking a bath. The water is neither hot nor cold. I wish this water could take my pain away. I wish it could  wash even my bad memories away. I feel free to cry because I can't feel my tears while being under this douche. I lost my mother, my brother and my boyfriend on the same day. I'm all alone in this world with no one to turn to. The whole school saw a video of me having sex and posted it on social media. My body isn't my privacy anymore. My mother and I are being domestically abused by my father who is a drunken idiot, my whole life is a fucking living hell! It just... Doesn't make sense.All Rights Reserved

abuse action adventure boy domesticviolence generalfiction girl love random romance school teen teens wattyawards

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Not Sick But Not Well. by La_marquise732

This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.

Children of the Fallen: Bloodlines (BOOK #3) by ggwrites_1864

" I scrub and scrub trying to make it go away. I'd happily go back to walking around internally dead than whatever this is. Watching the crimson substance go down the drain and off my skin- out of sight, out of mind, except it's not going away. I hated that pain was temporary but this... this pain I don't want it. I don't want to feel this. Tears begin to well in my eyes making my vision blurry. Weak. Anger surges in my veins and impulsively my fist connects with a tile on the wall of the shower shattering it. This is emotional. I don't do that. I don't do this- I don't cry in the shower. I don't let my emotions dictate my actions I haven't in a long time. It's stupid. It's childish. It's weak. I glance down at my knuckles on my right hand, watching the tiny cuts heal. Shouting, I punch the tile over and over and over again until blood runs down my arm and drips onto the shower floor. I reach my severely broken hand out under the water, momentarily stinging as water hits the open wounds which unfortunately close over seconds later. I crack whatever bones need it, back into place and look around me. The back wall of the shower is destroyed, shards of tile and blood scattered on the floor. As I stand under the scalding hot stream staring into nothing my mind falls silent for a split second. A few seconds of solace until everything comes crashing back. The tightness in my chest and my stomach, the cloudiness in my brain, the anger, the sadness. It all comes back. I sit down away from the shattered pieces of tile, curling my legs up and letting the near boiling water hit my back. There was a feeling of relief in losing everything I was. Whatever it is that has clawed it's way to the surface, I want it gone. I want that relief back. "

Unlovable Me {BoyxBoy} by xink0heartx

It's been so many years and my dad continues to hurt me daily. How long can I continue to live like this before it all comes to an end. It hurts and I'm tired. Sometimes I wish someone was here to swoop in and save me from my misery. Anything is better than this. . . . . . I apologize, this story was taken off wattpad for whatever reason. I tried getting help from online workers but none replied and I couldn't get it back. I'm just going to reupload. The reason why it was taken off it beyond me. Please give it some love, I broke down like crazy when it disappeared because it was my most popular story and I had worked incredibly hard on it only for it to go poof.

The heartless bitch by teenay15

Hi, it's yo girl teyana ,the bad bitch and I'm 16. I don't give a fuck what people say or there feelings I only care about me and the person who gave birth to me. actually fuck that I don't care about her cause she don't care about me all she cares about is crack fucking crackhead. people say that I'm heartless I properly am but I wasn't always like this...... ******************************************************* 7 years ago.... "Daddy,Daddy help me please someone help" crying my eyes out begging my father friend to stop while he raping me and hitting me at the same time. My father friend deroy said " bitch,stop screaming enjoy it cus no one going to have sex with you, look at you. I was still screaming for someone to help me "no one going to help you they don't care about you,do you really think they care if they did they would of been here right now" I was still screaming for help because I had hope that my night and shining armor to rescue me but he didn't come...

In Love With Blindfolds On by cjacks1124

I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?

Immortal (boy x boy) by Love2LoveYaoi

My life has always been terrible. I was always bullied at school. I don't know why, it just seemed that people didn't like my presence. The guys would beat me up and I'd get in trouble when I defended myself, for the teachers never saw what they did. The girls would trick me, making me think they liked me and laughing at me because of it. I was always in the principle's office for one reason or another, but I wasn't a bad student. I actually got really good grades. To make matters worse, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She'd lock me in the basement, sometimes for days, with no food or warmth. My father would then sneak down and beat me before raping me. So, naturally, I wanted to die. But, for some reason, I can't die. No matter what I do, I can't stay dead. The thing I want more than anything is far out of my reach. Why can't I just die? Warning: mention of rape, suicide, and abuse. Also, this is a boy's love story.

The Different Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018} by BrookeNikole06

Cadence leaves an abusive boyfriend after years of abuse. She wants to find love, true love, can't live without you love! Can she make it through the lust, lies, and betrayal? Follow her on her journey as she meets new people and loses people along the way. This story may contain emotional triggers!! "As I'm undressing I can still see marks on my body. They don't stand out like they used to. In fact if you didn't know they were there you would probably wouldn't even notice them. After I turned to water to the shower on as hot as possible without burning my skin. I step into the shower and cry. I wasn't crying over Trevor anymore. These tears were for me. For the little girl who lost her dad, for the teenager who lost her mom, and for the adult who lost herself. It felt like the water was washing all the sadness off me because after 15 minutes of crying, it stopped. The sadness was gone. I felt something in me that reminds me of the person I used to be. " These characters are from my own creation. Please don't copy my work or characters. I own the rights to my cover as well and it was made by me. This story contains mature content!! Read at your own risk. 🌟Awards🌟 ✨Chapter 30 was the winner in TWC December 2017 contest. ✨ ✨3rd place in the TWC biannual contest✨

Don't Call Him That by Clarksonthesnake

Erik and Clarkson are high school sophomores. Erik is an intellectually disabled teen with a horribly abusive family. He lives each day in fear of what his mother will do to him, not to mention the fear of his school bullies. Clarkson is a semi-popular nonbinary student who is assigned as Erik's "buddy" on the first day of school. Little do they know that they will become Erik's best friend, and eventually his datemate. But what happens when Clarkson finds out about the abuse Erik endures? Will Erik's horrid mother end up behind bars? *TW: graphic abuse scenes (sexual and physical), suicide, eating disorders, and slurs (the r slur, st*pid and id*ot) (if you don't think those are slurs, I don't care. Don't give me hate, okay?) Read at your own risk! **This is a fanfic about me and my fictional love that I created (the original story is not on wattpad, it's just on google docs).

Someone New by wambuimuiruriii

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

The nerd that attracted the bad boys by marie_1990

Summary It must sound very cliché but this is my story, the story of a nerd ( aka me, Emma) and how my life turned upside down In A mere couple of months. I don't know what the deal is with these boys but as soon as Chase took notice in me so did Damien. I can honestly say that I feel like I am in a game, and trust me I'm not playing I'm the prize. Oh and let's not forget the roles that my friends and my brother Jason play in my love life. All i can say it that, my senior year is going to be wild. I'm not that good at writing descriptions but read my book let me know what you think. Go through this journey with Emma see how her life slowly starts changing.

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Slide 1 of 10

Not Sick But Not Well. cover

Children of the Fallen: Bloodlines (BOOK #3) cover

Unlovable Me {BoyxBoy} cover

The heartless bitch cover

In Love With Blindfolds On cover

Immortal (boy x boy) cover

The Different Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018} cover

Don't Call Him That cover

Someone New cover

The nerd that attracted the bad boys cover

Not Sick But Not Well.

This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.