"I feel alone, I have my friends but they can't help anymore. I use to hide my pain behind the canvas of a painted smile but I-I don't know how to describe it. I was 5 when I finally realised the problems in my family, that all this shouting, fighting was not normal. My mother always told me "it will be alright one day, one day it will all be over", all of this-this shit. I guess she only spoke for herself as 7 years later she committed suicide. I was 14 when i arrived home from school to find my mother dangling above her bed, room trashed, shards of the vanity's mirror scattered on the floor. Speechless I slowly walk up to her and feel the coldness of her skin, the skin that kept not only my body warm but my hope. My eyes started to well and I reach for her hand only to feel the bumps of healing self inflicted wounds. Tears stream down my face as I begin to sob quietly. Usually at that moment my mother would have already wiped up my tears and hold me in a tight embrace, in fact my mother wouldn't even let me shed a tear. Turns out it's because she was doing all of the crying behind closed doors."
Tori finds her mother dead, Tori finds her father had breed.
Her life has hit rock bottom, she is miserable, the only thing that's stopping her from being with her mother is the fact that if she does what she wants it would mean her poor excuse for a father would win. She still awaits for that day, the day when all of this will be over, her mother may have lost the game but boy was she over yet.
Once you hit rock bottom all you can do is go up...right?
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
[[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]