Soos and the real girl book version

My grandma gave me an envelope today so I opened the envelope, inside there was an invitation to my cousin Reggie's engagement party. I looked up at my grandma and told her " I never knew Reggie was engaged he's like the poor man soos. My grandma looked at me and told me " Soos you are becoming a man and it's time for you to have a girl, please have a girl by the end of the week for the party" then she walked out the room. I though " maybe this won't be that hard this should be easy" I was also playing a game the game said " you're dead" I repeated " I'm dead"