Fault in our Snails

I sexually Identify as a terrestrial pulmonate gastropod molluscs. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of climbing along the sides of doors, dropping slime and shedded shells on foreigners. People say to me that a person being a terrestrial pulmonate gastropod molluscs is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon place antennae on my head , mucus pouches and slime on the outer parts of my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Turbo” and respect my right to speed by the competition, and speed effortlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a terrestrial pulmonate gastropod molluscsphobe and need to check your Nitros privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.