Pa Pala

In Filipino, pa means still.

Still loving. Still waiting. Still choosing someone even after they've already chosen to leave. It is the word people use when they can't let go and when the heart keeps saying "mahal ko pa", "miss ko pa", at "ikaw pa rin talaga", even when everything is already falling apart.

But pala is different.

Pala is the kind of realization that comes too late. The kind that only arrives after you've cried enough, begged enough, stayed long enough, and broken yourself enough for someone who was never going to stay.

Masakit pala ang magmahal ng taong matagal ka nang binitawan.

Masakit.

Masakit pa

Masakit pala.

Masakit pa pala.

This is the story of a girl who kept holding on to pa- to the love that was still there, to the memories that still hurt, and to a person she still called home even after becoming a stranger.

She thought pa meant there was still hope left, she didn't know it would end with pala- and the heartbreaking truth that some people are only meant to be loved, not kept.

Because sometimes, the saddest thing about pa is that if you hold onto it for too long,
you'll wake up one day and realize-

mahal mo pa, pero wala na pala.