the lonely god (inspired by Jay)

The story is about a world sculptor, a god, she lives in space, constantly working on her world.

over many years of overseeing and weaving, mending and caressing, the goddess began to feel something. Because her world was so small compared to herself, she couldn't view their daily lives, she could only adjust things from a distance. She created beings that could love marry and reproduce, but never experienced these for herself, and although they were all her children in a sense, it wasn't the way we know of it as humans. Her children would sometimes have black bits , sparkles and glints, like crushed up Oreo wafers blended into an ice cream, left in streaks. Across a usually soft pink and or purple body. She constantly loved and used her energy to make a perfect world for them, but did nothing for herself but create. She had not realized she had needs as well.

She realized she was striken with loneliness so she gave up most of her power, to be reborn in the world she created.

the godess is dervied of the wills of two people conjoined in one. one who nurtures and prioritizes her responsibilities far above herself, ignoring the pains of what shes missing inside, trying not to question it, not reaching out, just being content with the lonliness, and imagining the sparkles and light from the smiles of her children, even though shes too far away to truly see them, a god unseen and unoticed, only known in memory and intuition sprouted from birth. the other part is the yearning, the pulling to change the cycle, the one who entertains the inquisivity, the one who casts aside self danmation and isolation, the side that would do anything to cure oneself of lonliness and a endless void slowly consuming, the one who does not want to eat the spoon full of lies that all is okay and that nothing more is needed to sustain and to produce happiness, the side of the god that knows there is a breaking point, the side that wants to hold the other from falling to pieces.