Kung Fu Leprechaun from Outer Space

In rural Ireland, there once lived a gay sensei, he lived as an outcast who was isolated from the rest of Ireland, and he gardened potatoes to eat. He was out one sunny Irish evening tending to his Irish spuds when he heard a loud humming. He looked up to the heavens and saw the descending of a flying metal bottle of ale. It was crashed in the nearby woodland in which the sensei lived alone. He chased it down and found the remnants of the scorched starship. He noticed something shining, as bright as a pot of reflecting, precious gold. It was the buckle of a small, green hat, with antennae; and something jumped out of the scorched hull!