Surviving -12

One boy was all it took to tear my life to pieces. I wish I could say it was just a bad break up like most other girls. No.. it wasn't.

I was 12 or younger. I believe. He is a 6 years older than me so that must've made him 18 back then. It wasn't love.. no, it was torture. Not just any kind. It was the kind which makes you second guess everything you thought you knew about yourself. It was the kind where you thought hiding was the only way around it. It was the kind where losing yourself was easier than excepting the truth. It was the kind where you start believing that surviving and living is the same thing.

It happened so long back that I can hardly remember who I was before the incident. Not before knowing him.. before surviving him. Because surviving him and knowing him is two different things.

I am a survivor.. not a victim.

I'm not proud of it. I never was.

but it's time I understand that I am who I am because of who I was.

I am who I am because of what I went through.

and no one can take that from me.

Even when, I feel like I'm surviving on nothing. At least I'm surviving, right?