Uncertain beginnings

Based on the rookie

TW: WILL CONTAIN SMUT!

Lucy's spent four months telling herself it's enough. Chris is kind. He's steady. He's... fine. But fine doesn't keep her up at night wondering what she's missing. Fine doesn't explain why every time they're together she has to pretend - pretend she feels something she simply doesn't, pretend the disappointment isn't crushing her every single time, pretend size doesn't matter, that effort doesn't matter, that being left wanting every single time doesn't slowly hollow you out inside.

It's not his fault, she tells herself. He's just... small. In every way that counts. And Lucy - quietly, achingly - is tired of settling. Tired of faking it. Tired of leaving every encounter feeling empty and unseen.

Until the night she finally walks away. Until the night everything changes. Until the man she's loved longer than she's been willing to admit shows her exactly what she's been craving all along - passion, depth, intensity, and a connection so overwhelming it leaves her breathless and completely, utterly satisfied in a way she never even dared to imagine was possible. For the first time in her life, she doesn't have to pretend. She doesn't have to lie. She doesn't have to settle.

But when morning brings more than just happy memories - when a sudden, terrifying realisation changes everything - Lucy is left wondering: was it worth it? Or has she ruined the best thing she's ever found, before it even truly began?

(IF U CAME FROM MY ONESHOTS CONTINUE FROM THE CHAPTER NAMED ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK)