The Observations of Patrick Kraker. - aphi - Wattpad

The Observations of Patrick Kraker.

Reads 64,972
Votes 3,455
Parts 10
Time 49m

Reads 64,972
Votes 3,455
Parts 10
Time 49m

awkward boy clumsy complete diverselit diversity homelessguy humor humour kraker lgbt livingstatues london love misunderstandings patrick polly taygetsthegay therestofus weneeddiversebooks

I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers.

a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of course not.

b) I also may or may not be investigating and communicating with a homeless guy who is (possibly): one, not actually homeless and two, part of a cult of (probably) bloodthirsty satanic worshippers.

***

Copyright © 2015 by unfurled
All rights reserved

#34 Humour

Featured as of 28/04/16All Rights Reserved

awkward boy clumsy complete diverselit diversity homelessguy humor humour kraker lgbt livingstatues london love misunderstandings patrick polly taygetsthegay therestofus weneeddiversebooks

Table of contents

10 parts

Sign up to add The Observations of Patrick Kraker. to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Awks. ✓ by awalkingwaffle

*** "*Sobs* I'm so happy to have a character that's exactly like me." - @TakenUsernameSoz. "This story is so normal that it's unique; a breath of fresh air! Gives us normal girls hope, hi hi!" - @LocalSlayer "This book is seriously my inspiration to not be afraid to show who I am." - @Who_Says_Duh "THAT IS SO ME!!!!! IS THIS SOME TYPE OF VOODOO, MAGICAL BOOK OR SOME SHIT?!?!" - @ThePanther10101. *** Let's face it, none of those cliché situations from movies between a guy and a girl ever happen in real life. I'm not going to end up accidentally bumping into my future husband in a café, spilling a latte over him. I'm not going to go up to some random stranger and ask him for directions and he'll become mesmerised by the colour of my eyes and fall in love with me. The window of my bedroom doesn't happen to be situated opposite to that of a 'bad boy neighbour'. I was daydreaming, again. Something I do on a daily basis. Nothing different, right? Well, let's just say I didn't snap out of my little 'trance' until I saw a guy waving frantically at me, smiling. Oh shit, he's hot. He probably thinks I was checking him out. Great, now he's coming over. Kill me. *** • Highest rankings: #1 in Modeling - #1 in Awkward - #3 in Humor.

Freak|Henpat by NiahGrace17

Patrick the freak mixed with Henry the bully. What could possibly go wrong? When Henry sees a kid getting bullied and saves his butt, what happens to their relationship over the years? "You're the fly freak right?" "My names Patrick actually" "Nah I'm gonna stick with Fly Freak"

𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜. by prettybtchh

«𝘸𝘩𝘺'𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩?» ୭̥⋆*｡｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡ WARNINGS: this story contains sexual content, use of alcohol/drugs, domestic violence, family issues, mental illnesses, angst and crude language. hey guys, english isn't my first language so i apologize in advance for any mistakes :). i hope you'll enjoy the story (the first chapter could come out as boring) and i'm always open to some advice and constructive criticism ^^. enjoy and thanks for the support <3.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time ✔️ by BlueStarrySky1

When life gives you lemons, throw it back and demand chocolate. '"Sweet baby Satan!" I screamed, accidentally gaining the attention of the murderers. Act natural, Arya. "Did you just shoot them?!" I mentally face-palmed. So much for acting natural, "Why did you do that? Holy cheese balls that's a lot of blood." I swallowed, willing my legs to do something goddammit. But they refused to cooperate. ' Arya McKenzie is a bright seventeen year old with a knack of getting into trouble. Her only friend is her younger brother. One day, Arya was walking home- completely soaked- when she decides to take a shortcut through an alleyway. Bad idea. She sees five scary boys kill three other slightly-less-scary men. Instead of running away or screaming like a normal person, she begins to ramble to said five scary boys. Instead of letting her go, however, they kidnap her. Rude. Join Arya as she navigates through a world of skittles, llamas and finding help in the most unexpected places. "I know I'm gorgeous but no need to stare. If you want an autograph, just ask." She was the girl who was in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time Features: @humor DiverseLit reading list @humor Ambassador's Monthly Picks Sept 2024

A Bartender's Guide to Paying it Forward || ᴏɴᴄ 2023 by MarCafeWrites

{ ᴏɴᴄ ʜᴏɴᴏʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ & ᴀᴍʙᴀꜱꜱᴀᴅᴏʀꜱ' ᴘɪᴄᴋ } Tate has been the bartender at The Imp's Bottle for years. The dive bar attracts a trickling array of unusual patrons, but due to his social anxiety, Tate avoids conversation and interaction. ...Until a random encounter with a beautiful girl causes Tate to open up in a way he never imagined possible. Unbeknownst to Tate, the girl's kindness plants a seed, inspiring him to abandon his wallflower nature. The changes are subtle at first, but rather than hyperfocus on his beloved retro music and impulsive need to clean, Tate begins to converse and interact with the bar's patrons. He becomes more outspoken, engaged, and confident. And his positive changes inspire changes in those around him. However, not everyone is thrilled with Tate's newfound confidence. Ali, the bar's prickly lone waitress, has a bone to pick with Tate. And she plans to come out on top of their little workplace rivalry, no matter the cost to her coworker. || A story about how the tiniest pebble can create the biggest ripples, this is my entry for ONC 2023. ||

Cynical Souls by DramaQueenforreal

COMPLETED✅ Two high school teenagers finding themselves, analyzing this ever changing world, and building love. This is the type of love you wish you found in high school but probably know way too well that it only exists as fiction. Today I'm turning my fiction to reality. ❣️•••❣️ Excerpt: Just as I was about to seek shelter under some building's roof, the tires of a car come to a halt, I wonder who might pity the lonely girl walking in the rain. The passenger window rolls down, and I spot the most unexpected person seated behind the wheel. "Get in" comes out his voice, and I must've stood there agape for a few moments because next comes his rhetorical question. "Are you getting in or continuing walking in the rain?" Eyebrows raised expectantly. He sounds annoyed, like he regrets his decision to ever stop and help me. ❣️•••❣️ #5 in cynical #2 in loveandfriendship #1 in opinionated #4 in ihatelife #10 in nerdgirl #10 in HighschoolRomance #26 in GoodGirlBadBoy *contains mature themes. *contains cursing.

How I Met My Worst Enemy |COMPLETE| by MsBrew

He can't stand me, I can't stand him, but we're stuck together. ********** The beginning of my new found independence couldn't have been more perfect. Hi, I'm Keziah Mills. I found the perfect job and the perfect apartment in the Queen City. Look, Life was good! But then life also gave me the rare opportunity of meeting my worst enemy: Mr. tall, handsome, and arrogant! The problem? I'm the only one who sees through his façade. Deep down, beyond the human exterior, he's nothing but ice. The other problem? I have a hard time sticking to that fact. PS: All grammar Nazis are welcome here.

Our Chance at Love - Danisnotonfire x Reader Fanfic by TayloRen0605

First-Person POV: After graduating from college you decided to move to London for a year, but what you didn't expect was to find your future in your best friend. *Mild language *Sexual content mentioned

Alone, Unwanted {Editing!} by howlterurie

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm a kluts" I said to the person. "It's fine honey. Do you need a hand?" he asked. I looked up and this very hansom guy stood in front of me with his hand out for me to take. I took his hand and he pulled me up. When I touched his hand it gave me an electric shock of butterflies. He had brown curly hair with green eyes. He was hottttttttttttttt as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk. "So what's your name?" asked the hot guy. "I'm Connor Franta. What's your name?" "I'm Troye, Troye Sivan."

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘//𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐗𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 by C3llybaby

ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴇ, ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴀɪʟᴏʀ, ɢᴀꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ, ᴛʀɪᴄᴋ, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴊᴏᴋᴇꜱ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ, ꜰʟɪʀᴛ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴇᴇꜱ, ᴠᴀɴᴅᴀʟɪᴢᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴋɴɪᴠᴇꜱ. ᴛʜʀᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴏꜰ ɢʀɪᴇᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ. ꜰᴇᴍ ʏ/ɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇꜱ ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ 1000-2000 ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ꜱʜᴀᴡᴛɪᴇꜱ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴘᴏᴛɪꜰʏ ᴘʟᴀʏʟɪꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ᴍʏ ᴜꜱᴇʀ ɪɴ ꜱᴘᴏᴛɪꜰʏ: ɴᴏᴛꜱᴏQᴜɪʀᴋʏᴋɪᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏʟɪꜱᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇ: ꜱᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏ//ɢᴀʟʟʏxʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ꜱʟᴏᴡʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱʜɪᴛ ʙᴀʙᴇ "ᴍʏ ꜱᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴀɪɴ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛ ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ...ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʜɪᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ" - ᴊᴜʟɪᴇᴛ ʙʏ ᴄᴀᴠᴇᴛᴏᴡɴ

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Freak|Henpat cover

𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜. cover

Wrong Place, Wrong Time ✔️ cover

A Bartender's Guide to Paying it Forward || ᴏɴᴄ 2023 cover

Cynical Souls cover

How I Met My Worst Enemy |COMPLETE| cover

Our Chance at Love - Danisnotonfire x Reader Fanfic cover

Alone, Unwanted {Editing!} cover

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘//𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐗𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 cover

Awks. ✓

*** "Sobs I'm so happy to have a character that's exactly like me." - @TakenUsernameSoz. "This story is so normal that it's unique; a breath of fresh air! Gives us normal girls hope, hi hi!" - @LocalSlayer "This book is seriously my inspiration to not be afraid to show who I am." - @Who_Says_Duh "THAT IS SO ME!!!!! IS THIS SOME TYPE OF VOODOO, MAGICAL BOOK OR SOME SHIT?!?!" - @ThePanther10101. * Let's face it, none of those cliché situations from movies between a guy and a girl ever happen in real life. I'm not going to end up accidentally bumping into my future husband in a café, spilling a latte over him. I'm not going to go up to some random stranger and ask him for directions and he'll become mesmerised by the colour of my eyes and fall in love with me. The window of my bedroom doesn't happen to be situated opposite to that of a 'bad boy neighbour'. I was daydreaming, again. Something I do on a daily basis. Nothing different, right? Well, let's just say I didn't snap out of my little 'trance' until I saw a guy waving frantically at me, smiling. Oh shit, he's hot. He probably thinks I was checking him out. Great, now he's coming over. Kill me. * • Highest rankings: #1 in Modeling - #1 in Awkward - #3 in Humor.