The Exception

I've always thought there was something deeply unfair about getting everything you wanted only after you stopped wanting it.

But if I'm being honest, after waiting this long, by the time I finally get something I actually wanted, it just doesn't feel special anymore.

My life has a lot of maybes.

Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe it's my luteal phase. Maybe this is just who I am.

I just wish life would stop making me work so hard for things other people seem to receive without asking.

That was the thing about me.

I was always late.

Or, in some cases, not late at all. Just never chosen.

I suppose I spent too much time convincing myself there had to be a reason. That maybe the excuses weren't excuses. Or maybe I'm not just a side character at all.

Late to everything that mattered.

And on the night I finally decided I was tired of waiting, tired of hoping that maybe, just maybe, things would eventually make sense, I made the kind of decision that should have been completely out of character for me.

Or maybe it was the most honest thing I'd ever done.

I just didn't know which one yet.