Everyone Died+My iPhone Stopped Working: An Oral History of The Robot Apocalypse - AaronRubicon - Wattpad

Everyone Died+My iPhone Stopped Working: An Oral History of The Robot Apocalypse

Reads 328,263
Votes 24,957
Parts 41
Time 3h 37m

Wattys winner

Reads 328,263
Votes 24,957
Parts 41
Time 3h 37m

Wattys winner

absurd apocalypse comedy fiction humor robot sciencefiction scifi wattys2015 weird

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!*****

WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15)

In the end, the robots win. 

But you already knew that.

"Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't.

Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels?

You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see.

I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done.

Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)All Rights Reserved

absurd apocalypse comedy fiction humor robot sciencefiction scifi wattys2015 weird

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41 parts

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Perfect Fate ✔ (Moved To Inkitt) by fanoshkaflippo

Wattpad Creator! Happy and proud. HIM: Staying the night? Not my thing. Hearts and flowers? Boring. Falling in love? Not anytime soon. Settling down? Off the table. Getting married? You're kidding me, right? That was me before the night we first met. Because, well, meeting a hot chick that made me hard just by looking at her was definitely not in my plans when I sneaked out of a woman's apartment after what was already a long night. Taking her home and getting her a chocolate cake, though, was kind of intentional. But falling for her? Boy, that was pretty much inevitable. HER: He came out of nowhere, literally. I was there, sitting on that bench, barefoot and crying and just getting my heart broken in peace and silence. Then he appeared, all mad and furious and sexy and tall and just drool-worthy! And just like that, despite my poor attempts of escaping him, he had me wrapped in his world. A crazy yet heart-fluttering world, that I have absolutely no intentions of leaving anytime soon. ------- Character development is a main theme in this book. It shows you how they both work on changing for the better, while trying to overcome the obstacles in their relationship and fight for each other till the end. ** Warning!! Some chapters contain sexual scenes, but there's always a warning at the head of the chapter. Do not read them if you're under 18.** * Also, please beware that this story contains a lot of swearing. Read at your own risk. * **I don't own any photos used in this book. All are found on the internet for public use.** Highest Rankings: Sexy - #1 Love - #1 General Fiction - #41 Romance - #46 ------ ** Copyright © 2014 by Fanoshka Flippo (Farah Fekry). All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Fanoshka Flippo / Farah Fekry. **

Technobabble by dougom

During the filming of "Star Trek: The Next Generation", there would frequently come times when the story called for the characters (and in the early days, it was often that bane of Trekkies everywhere, Wesley Crusher, the Platonic Ideal of Dork) to fix some far-future technical problem. Which means said characters had to employ far-future tech. Which by definition hasn't been invented yet. What happened over the course of the series was that they engaged a couple of people to be in charge of continuity and technology, and the script writers would insert into the scripts, "[technobabble here]", leaving the staff TechGeek to insert the proper futuristic-sounding tech gibberish. You know: Stuff that sounds realistically scientific, but is really just verbal handwaving. "Tachyon fields"; "Inertial dampers"; and so on. Welcome to my non-fictional, non-Star Trek, highly-idiosyncratic take on tech, tech-related topics, and sometimes random stuff that's just obliquely related to tech that was triggered by me reading or hearing or seeing something that happened to drift through the wide-open transom of my brain and get stuck there. Some of the items you will see here are funny, some I hope are thought-provoking, some could probably be filed under the hashtag of #DougRant, filtered through what my life-partner calls my "weird perspective". If you enjoy reading them, then they will have served their purpose. So read on and, hopefully, enjoy!

The Adventures Of That Particular Group: Start Of Their Adventure (#Wattys2016) by OfficialTPG

Imagine if you had the power of the stars in your hands and the existence of a neighbouring planet depended entirely on you and your team. . . There were four people who had powers beyond imagination. One had weaponry, one had memory, another had teleportation and the last had gatherance. It might be hard to believe, but those four were set on a journey to save a neighbouring planet. The journey might change their fate and turn things around. Would they be able to make it, or would they lose everything that they once had? What discoveries would they make, and what would they have to do with them? What would the path that they will choose be, to give up or continue? Will their lives ever be back to normal? The fate of another planet depends on this group... So read on to find out! The sequel of this story is out. If you vote for our story it would mean the world to us :-) Special thanks to our classmate who is now helping us edit grammar and provided the Corean quiz and everyone else who helped to do a part. Note: You may find some parts of the story confusing and theoretically impossible. But this is a fictional world so please understand. Thank you! The story had been recently refurbished so that it will look more organised and has the pictures now. We will start Phase 2 of our renovation process, which will edit the grammar so our story will be wonderful. Stay tuned and vote for us! Thank you fans of The Adventures Of That Particular Group! Cover made by @TheScarlettWolf (YiChen) 2000 views on 9 Aug 2016 P.S Vote us for Wattys! Type our story name then write #MyWattysChoice.

Contraindication by literaturelexi

[WATTYS 2022 SHORTLIST] "Hello again, Pizza Boy?" I glanced up at him with a smile. The blood was rushing out my head but it didn't bother me. "Are you back to make another attempt on my life?" "Shut up," he fumbled, absolutely petrified. "I-I hate you!" I laughed as we were both red in the face; one more sticky then the other, "Aww, I hate you too." My hands held my non-beating chest. "It's mutual trust me. But I guess you really want your Xbox back huh?" -- 17 year-old Evelyn Gates has a quiet yet witty personality. She usually stays in the background and is mediocre at literally everything... just ask anyone. She enjoys the smell of pizza and watching Guy Fieri stuff his face with food in her free time. Oh, and there's one more thing... she's immortal. That's right, Evelyn can't die, and she doesn't know why. Her body just magically puts itself back together again after tragic incidents. She calls it a curse, but the one other person who knows about it calls it a miracle. It's not until her pizza order turns deadly and her mom's boyfriend changes his outlook on life, when Evelyn finds out that there might be some more people involved with her immortality; people who are puppeteering her life and will stop at nothing but to destroy her. - Featured on: @TeenFiction 'FunnyBones' reading list: October 6th, 2021 @StoriesUndiscovered 'The Power of Laughter' reading list: June 1st -30th, 2021 -- Since mock websites are becoming more common, unfortunately, I have to give the disclaimer that this story is only being published on Wattpad. If you see it anywhere else let me know so I can warn my followers and also be aware that it could make your device vulnerable to malware. --- Started: August 18th 2020 Completed: April 12th 2021

Ava and Aphrodite: The First Human in 8000 Years (Featured) by SalmanHannan

Thousands of years have passed since mankind's extinction, now the remaining society of Humanoid robots on Mars and Machine-like robots on Europa are at war. Ava, a stealth Mars-unit is sent on a mission to Europa to learn more about the enemy's new secret super weapon: the first biological human in 8000 years. (Now a featured Wattpad story, made it to 6 on the hot list!) *** This story is a mix of Nier: Automata, Do Androids Dream of Electric sheep, and what I thought Saturn's Children would be until I got to the half-way point. Updates are: Monday: New Chapter Wednesday: Poem (thoughts of featured character in the chapter) or Data File (extended info of elements brought up in previous chapter. Friday: New Chapter (usually try to end these with cliffhangers ;D) I haven't failed with this update schedule yet so don't worry! Keep reading and you'll have material to read for months to come! I value everyone's feedback so please vote and comment your thoughts on the themes and characters as I introduce them :)

The Virus Within: Third Wave (Book 2) by CrystalScherer

The third wave is looming, mere weeks away, but in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, problems never come just one at a time. Season 2 of The Virus Within * * * * * Life isn't easy, and that's doubly true when you're a zombie surrounded by humans, a crazy redhead, and a far-too-curious scientist. Once you add in a long-lost sister and a Terror who doesn't know how to zombie, peace and quiet are the last things you'll find. Reports of a Nightstalker attack come mere weeks before the third wave is due, and Trinity is one of the few who have the necessary skills to take on such a zombie. Leaving her sister in the safety of the Stronghold, Trinity joins the rest of the group as they embark on a road trip to locate the feral creature before it can kill anyone else. Trouble looms on the horizon like a thunderstorm, and where there's thunder, there's lightning. You better pack your dish soap because the third wave isn't waiting for anyone. Cover designed by Marie Tilmant

Finding Humanity by NinaMarks

After escaping a stalled elevator into a zombie apocalypse, Emily must learn how to trust people again or risk losing everything in this terrifying world. ***** For Emily, every day of the last two years have been a blur. She keeps her head down, takes her college courses online, and only goes out to work at her mandatory internship. But all that changes on the day the office elevator breaks down, leaving her trapped when the screams begin. And when the doors finally open, revealing a dystopian world ruined by bloody teeth and disease, Emily is launched into a terrifying run for her life, caught between the strangers she's not sure she can trust and the man-eating monsters that hunger for her flesh. Now she must learn not only how to survive in this new and dangerous world, but also how to overcome her own inner demons before they cost her something more precious than her life. [[Wattys' Shortlist]] [[Promoted by AMC]] Content and/or Trigger Warning: The story contains some gore, violence, strong language, and dark themes. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

TripleEz is Coming by dontfighttgotg

It is Her/His/Its/Their time. They are infinite. They are... beyond comprehension. They defy physics and science and puny things like that. They might be the devil incarnate. We aren't sure. TripleEz is now on Wattpad. Oh and there are unicorns. A lot of unicorns. We're drowning under the weight of unicorns. We're blaming it all on TripleEz. We are all going to die. Everyone. Please, if you're reading this. Help me. Help me. It won't leave you alone, it's coming for you. You have to stop it or everything will be destroyed. Just look. Look properly, please. All these months around TripleEz - maybe you can do what I never could and finally defeat it. Please, before it's too late. Remember, vote and comment if you want to be kidnapped, brainwashed and turned into a mindless soldier of the vast army preparing to invade your world. Highest rating #576 in humor Hail the Robocalypse! ZiziTheRobot

Love Bitez by katfeatherly

WARM BODIES meets THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets ZOMBIELAND in this YA apocalypse story full of fluff, comedy and humans biting back. ✿ "When I imagined my high school crush would be dying to eat me, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." ✿✿ Ava Sterling never expected she'd be the one solution to the zombie apocalypse. Then again, she never expected she would end up biting one of them either. But, hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. During a moment of intense panic, Ava's teeth end up firmly lodged in the arm of her old crush, now turned very much zombie. A spur-of-the-moment impulse that even drowning in mouthwash wouldn't erase. After this impromptu bite, Gabriel the zombie turns back into Gabriel the human and the zombie apocalypse suddenly takes a completely different turn. This not-so-fun revelation changes everything for Ava's ragtag group of survivalists. Tensions are higher than ever. Feelings are getting in the way. And it seems that being newly re-humanized does leave some nasty mental side-effects on the previously zombified. Still, not everything is that bleak for Ava and her survivors. For one, it's finally time for the humans to bite back. ✿✿✿ ACHIEVEMENTS: 🏅ONC Round One Winner, Ambassador's Pick & Shortlister WARNING: There is occasional swearing, some gore, and lots of laughs. You have been warned.

The Last Colony by StoryTellerByFire

The outbreak at Pax was lethal. Within hours the entire western seaboard was overtaken. Within a week; the world. With no cure and no hope. All that there was left to do was simply survive. Then a small glimmer of hope inspires Mark and Sean. They overhear a frequency about a place where any remaining humans should go. Getting there is dangerous, but staying put is no longer an option. These zombies are too smart and too aggressive. They have no choice. They must find 'The Last Colony'. Cover Art by: 'HiImSoul'

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Slide 1 of 10

Perfect Fate ✔ (Moved To Inkitt) cover

Technobabble cover

The Adventures Of That Particular Group: Start Of Their Adventure (#Wattys2016) cover

Contraindication cover

Ava and Aphrodite: The First Human in 8000 Years (Featured) cover

The Virus Within: Third Wave (Book 2) cover

Finding Humanity cover

TripleEz is Coming cover

Love Bitez cover

The Last Colony cover

Perfect Fate ✔ (Moved To Inkitt)

Wattpad Creator! Happy and proud. HIM: Staying the night? Not my thing. Hearts and flowers? Boring. Falling in love? Not anytime soon. Settling down? Off the table. Getting married? You're kidding me, right? That was me before the night we first met. Because, well, meeting a hot chick that made me hard just by looking at her was definitely not in my plans when I sneaked out of a woman's apartment after what was already a long night. Taking her home and getting her a chocolate cake, though, was kind of intentional. But falling for her? Boy, that was pretty much inevitable. HER: He came out of nowhere, literally. I was there, sitting on that bench, barefoot and crying and just getting my heart broken in peace and silence. Then he appeared, all mad and furious and sexy and tall and just drool-worthy! And just like that, despite my poor attempts of escaping him, he had me wrapped in his world. A crazy yet heart-fluttering world, that I have absolutely no intentions of leaving anytime soon. ------- Character development is a main theme in this book. It shows you how they both work on changing for the better, while trying to overcome the obstacles in their relationship and fight for each other till the end. Warning!! Some chapters contain sexual scenes, but there's always a warning at the head of the chapter. Do not read them if you're under 18. * Also, please beware that this story contains a lot of swearing. Read at your own risk. * I don't own any photos used in this book. All are found on the internet for public use. Highest Rankings: Sexy - #1 Love - #1 General Fiction - #41 Romance - #46 ------ Copyright © 2014 by Fanoshka Flippo (Farah Fekry). All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Fanoshka Flippo / Farah Fekry.