Everyone Died+My iPhone Stopped Working: An Oral History of The Robot Apocalypse - AaronRubicon - Wattpad

Everyone Died+My iPhone Stopped Working: An Oral History of The Robot Apocalypse

Reads 328,115
Votes 24,924
Parts 41
Time 3h 37m

Wattys winner

Reads 328,115
Votes 24,924
Parts 41
Time 3h 37m

Wattys winner

absurd apocalypse comedy fiction humor robot sciencefiction scifi wattys2015 weird

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!*****

WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15)

In the end, the robots win. 

But you already knew that.

"Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't.

Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels?

You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see.

I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done.

Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)All Rights Reserved

absurd apocalypse comedy fiction humor robot sciencefiction scifi wattys2015 weird

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41 parts

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The Core: The First Guest by Perditaveritas

❖2021 Watty Awards Shortlist❖ Kevin was just a normal 10 year old kid until he saw a woman vanish right before his eyes. This made Kevin just a little bit different. He paid more attention to people now. Little did he know that this little difference would kill him the next time he encountered another alien about to return home. It would tear him apart, cell by cell, until he was unmade. His mind being transported away. --- So distantly far away there is a race that advanced to the point where they built dyson spheres to house their civilizations. In their continual expansion, they seeded galaxies with pods and connection satellites. Over time they upgraded their dyson spheres into matryoshka brain Cores. Imagine a computer powered by a star. Citizens of Cores no longer age once they upload their minds into the virtual living system of the Core. While they didn't age, most still choose to cycle through life and death though at a different scale of time compared to our lives. Citizens can visit other planets and live there as if they were on a "vacation". Mercury is Earth's hub connected to the closest Core and Earth is a remote vacation spot for wealthy citizens. When the main character was 10 he witnessed a citizen returning to the Core. The story continues 10 odd years later when he again witnesses a similar situation unfolding and manages to touch the person returning to the Core. This causes him to be swept up in the transfer as well and for his mind to join as a "Guest" user of the Core. As a Guest he has limited powers, a starting balance of zero cr or Citizen credits, and no idea how he can get home. He is the first human to ever become a Guest of a Core. Where money itself is the highest form of their science.

Everyone Un-Died + My Gardener Bit Me: The Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse by AaronRubicon

"Sure, it was robots this time. But who's to say that it won't be zombies next time? And when the zombies do come, who's going to be ready for it? Me." - Marietta "I mean, like, say what you want about the robots, but at least they weren't gross!" - Lila Welcome to the long-awaited sequel to the irreverent and uproarious 2015 Watty Award-winning EVERYONE DIED + MY iPHONE STOPPED WORKING! It's been three years since humanity was *almost* wiped out and the lucky survivors are now breathing easy, confident that they no longer have anything to fear from murderous robots. And indeed, they do not. But unbeknownst to them, there is another extinction-level threat on the horizon. It's a ferocious new enemy... and it smells terrible. Cover art courtesy of my ridiculously talented friend Dave Pressler. http://www.davepresslerart.com

Ask Or Dare Robot Masters/Mavericks (As Well As Some Stardroids) by Min_JaeEXE

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Ava and Aphrodite: The First Human in 8000 Years (Featured) by SalmanHannan

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Slide 1 of 10

The Core: The First Guest cover

Everyone Un-Died + My Gardener Bit Me: The Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse cover

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The Core: The First Guest

❖2021 Watty Awards Shortlist❖ Kevin was just a normal 10 year old kid until he saw a woman vanish right before his eyes. This made Kevin just a little bit different. He paid more attention to people now. Little did he know that this little difference would kill him the next time he encountered another alien about to return home. It would tear him apart, cell by cell, until he was unmade. His mind being transported away. --- So distantly far away there is a race that advanced to the point where they built dyson spheres to house their civilizations. In their continual expansion, they seeded galaxies with pods and connection satellites. Over time they upgraded their dyson spheres into matryoshka brain Cores. Imagine a computer powered by a star. Citizens of Cores no longer age once they upload their minds into the virtual living system of the Core. While they didn't age, most still choose to cycle through life and death though at a different scale of time compared to our lives. Citizens can visit other planets and live there as if they were on a "vacation". Mercury is Earth's hub connected to the closest Core and Earth is a remote vacation spot for wealthy citizens. When the main character was 10 he witnessed a citizen returning to the Core. The story continues 10 odd years later when he again witnesses a similar situation unfolding and manages to touch the person returning to the Core. This causes him to be swept up in the transfer as well and for his mind to join as a "Guest" user of the Core. As a Guest he has limited powers, a starting balance of zero cr or Citizen credits, and no idea how he can get home. He is the first human to ever become a Guest of a Core. Where money itself is the highest form of their science.