Slytherin's Final Fuck You
- Reads 1,244
- Votes 49
- Parts 4
Kaylee Rosier, Pansy Parkinson, and Daphne Greengrass should already be finished with Hogwarts.
Instead, thanks to Voldemort and his ugly-ass snakeness destroying their seventh year, the three eighteen-year-old Slytherins are returning alongside Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, and Blaise Zabini for one final shot at the year they were supposed to have.
But they're not the girls who left.
They're war survivors. Pureblood heiresses. Damn good Pokémon trainers.
And they're married.
Kaylee to Lance. Pansy to Giovanni. Daphne to Gary Oak.
With Dragonite, Charizard, and Pidgeot beside them, the girls intend to make their final year one enormous victory lap-and their last great fuck you to Voldemort.
Hogwarts survived a Dark Lord.
Now it has to survive six Slytherins with absolutely nothing left to prove.
All Rights Reserved
#34
pokemoncrossover
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
The Queen Beneath the Mountain
Three Slytherin witches are promised to the heirs of Durin's Line in an ancient alliance meant to unite magic and the Kingdom Under the Mountain. While Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass reluctantly accept becoming dwarven princesses, one girl unknowingly returns home. Raised in Britain, she never knew she was the daughter of Bofur and Marlene McKinnon. Fierce, cunning, and proud, she lives by one motto: "I am no princess. I am the mother-fucking queen." She has no idea that beneath the Lonely Mountain, an entire kingdom has been waiting for its lost princess to come home.
The Professor's Gryffindor Problem
She survived seven years of Hogwarts, graduated alongside Oliver Wood, conquered Alola's Island Challenge, became a seasoned Pokémon Trainer-and married Professor Kukui. Now, at eighteen, the former Gryffindor is returning to Hogwarts at her husband's side as he teaches the Triwizard-era students about Alolan Pokémon and its unique training traditions. Kukui expects an educational visit. His wife has other plans. Armed with her Pokégear, years of Gryffindor experience, and an alarming talent for turning completely innocent Pokémon facts into massive double entendres, she decides to see exactly how long her husband can maintain his professional composure. Then Fred, George, and Lee catch on. Suddenly every question about Bewear, Salazzle, Pokémon sizes, moves, mating behaviors, and Island Trials becomes dangerously phrased-and Kukui realizes far too late that his wife hasn't simply returned to Hogwarts. She's found reinforcements. Professor Kukui came to teach Hogwarts about Alola. Hogwarts is about to teach him why you should never give a former Gryffindor an audience.
Bound by Blood, Claimed by Thunder
Long before Lily Evans married James Potter... She fell in love with a god. When Odin ordered Thor back to Asgard, neither of them knew Lily carried his daughter. By the time the Allfather answered Thor's desperate prayers, war had engulfed Britain. Unable to return, Thor could only trust James Potter-the man who blood-adopted the little girl and swore to protect her as his own. Then James made a choice that would haunt the dead. Believing he was securing her future and repaying a lifetime of guilt, he forged an ancient magical contract with Severus Snape. The oath would remain hidden until her seventeenth birthday, when it would awaken and force her to accept the bond... or lose her magic. Perhaps even her life. Raised in the cupboard beneath the stairs, sorted into Slytherin, and unaware that the blood of Asgard flows through her veins, Astrid Evans-Potter has survived everything the world has thrown at her. But she refuses to become anyone's apology. "I am no motherfucking apology gift to anyone. Especially not to someone old enough to be my damn father." The moment the contract awakens, lightning answers her rage. Across the Nine Realms, Thor feels his daughter's power for the first time in seventeen years. The Bifrost tears open the skies above Privet Drive. And the God of Thunder comes for his child. Now Dumbledore's secrets are unraveling, James Potter's final decision threatens to destroy everything, and an ancient magical oath may ignite a war between wizarding Britain and Asgard itself. Because there's one thing every witch, wizard, and god is about to learn... No chain forged by man can hold the daughter of Thor forever.
The Shieldmaiden of Gryffindor
Rúna Ragnarsdóttir-Wataru is many things. The eldest daughter of Ragnar Lothbrok and Lagertha. A sworn shieldmaiden. A raider. A Pokémon Trainer. A seventh-year Gryffindor. And the wife of Indigo Champion Lance Wataru. She may study magic in Scotland, but Hogwarts has never changed where she comes from. Rúna still wears Mjölnir around her neck, honors the old gods, speaks Old Norse, carries the oath she swore to her chieftain, and returns home to sail and raid beside her people. Lance understands better than most. He entered her village as an outsider, learned their language and customs, earned the hospitality of her family-and witnessed exactly one punishment for treason that convinced him never to anger a village full of Vikings. So when Professor McGonagall mysteriously orders Rúna to wear her ceremonial clothing to lunch and informs her that she'll be joining the professors that evening, Rúna knows something is wrong. Then foreign delegations arrive. The Triwizard Tournament is announced. Rúna discovers she's been appointed one of its judges. And sitting among the international representatives is her husband, summoned as a delegate of the Kanto Indigo League while new ties form between Kanto and Britain's wizarding world. Rúna has only one response to learning that being a judge means she cannot enter the tournament: Thank Odin. Because as far as one Viking shieldmaiden is concerned, the Triwizard Tournament isn't glory. It's suicide with an audience.
Book One: Born of a Legend
Before the Olympians claimed the world... Before Voldemort sought immortality... Before the Volturi ruled in secret... A prophecy was whispered by the Fates. A daughter shall be born of magic and divinity. She will command the old powers, bend fate itself, and decide whether gods, wizards, and vampires survive the coming darkness. Her mother is one of Britain's most gifted witches. Her father is an Olympian whose very name inspires both awe and fear. Raised between Hogwarts and Camp Half-Blood, she grows into a warrior feared by monsters, respected by demigods, and admired by witches. Her wand obeys only her. Her celestial bronze blade drinks monster blood. Ancient magic answers her call. When she is nearly twenty, fate leads her to Italy. There, in the city of Volterra, she meets the oldest and saddest soul in the Volturi. Marcus. A vampire who has mourned his true mate for over a thousand years. He believed fate had abandoned him... Until the scent of the witch-goddess reached him. She isn't his replacement. She is his Second Chance Mate-a miracle the world has never witnessed. But not everyone believes Marcus deserves happiness. The Volturi will fracture. The Olympians will interfere. The wizarding world will panic. And the girl born of legend... Will either unite three worlds... Or burn them all.Complete
Holler at the Horizon
Tallulah "Tully" Grace Whitaker-Miller has survived Voldemort, conquered the Indigo Elite Four, refused Lance's Champion position, and built a career chasing tornadoes across America with six fluffy Pokémon safely tucked in their Poké Balls and a camera pointed toward the sky. Somehow, her most questionable life decision is still marrying Jonas Miller. Away from storm chasing, Jonas is the man Tully loves-the husband who waited for her through Hogwarts, knows every scar she brought home from the war, and reminds her exactly why she said yes. Then storm season starts. Suddenly her perfectly normal husband becomes the corporate-sponsored jackass Tully affectionately considers the forever bitch, while she remains fiercely independent, runs her successful Holler at the Horizon channel, and happily works alongside Jo Harding's crew whenever they need another hand. But Tully has one secret even Jonas doesn't fully understand. She carries the X-gene. And when the biggest tornado of their lives comes for her husband, Tully will discover exactly how far she'll go-and how powerful she can become-to keep that corporate asshole alive. Because Jonas Ray Miller might be a prick. But he's her prick.
Prada in the Path
Seraphina Rosier Nurick survived seven years at Hogwarts, a war with Voldemort, and a mutation that left her able to shapeshift into any Pokémon and teleport. Now the eighteen-year-old Slytherin heiress has exactly one plan after graduation: tell her trauma to go fuck itself backwards and get home to Oklahoma. Waiting for her is her storm-chaser husband, Robert "Rabbit" Nurick, a chaotic crew, tornado season, and her heavily modified pink F-250, Storm Buster. Nobody understands how a Gucci-wearing, Prada-loving businesswoman who looks like a model became a storm chaser-or how the hell Rabbit managed to marry her. Sera doesn't care. She's got designer boots, a Louis Vuitton bag full of storm gear, Pokémon powers, money to burn, and a tornado on the horizon. Welcome to Oklahoma, sweetheart.
The Champion's Hawaiian Wildcard
Kaleialoha "Kalei" Wataru was born between worlds. The daughter of Indigo Champion Lance Wataru and Hawaiian Muggle-born witch Nalani Keawe, Kalei loses her mother as a baby when Nalani is killed while visiting her friend Lily Potter in Godric's Hollow. Suddenly, Lance is a single father raising a magical little girl while determined to keep her mother's Hawaiian heritage alive. As if accidental magic wasn't enough, Lance soon discovers something nobody expected. Kalei is a mutant. She can transform into any Pokémon-and use its moves. By ten, Kalei begins her own Pokémon journey. By eleven, she has a complete team, defeats the Elite Four, beats her own father, and immediately refuses the Champion position because she wanted the victory, not Lance's paperwork. Then two magical schools come calling. Ilvermorny. And Hogwarts. Kalei chooses the school willing to accept her Pokémon, her Pokégear, and everything that comes with being Kaleialoha Wataru. Hogwarts thinks it's welcoming an unusually talented Hawaiian witch and Pokémon Trainer. Then someone threatens her friends. Kalei turns into Suicune. And Lance realizes he may have forgotten to send Hogwarts one very important parenting manual. Large Pokémon? Someone has officially fucked around. Legendary Pokémon? Find out who Kalei is protecting. Tiny Pokémon hiding beneath furniture? Call Lance. Because beneath the Hawaiian swearing, dramatic transformations, Champion-level battling, and absolute chaos gremlin behavior is still an eleven-year-old girl who sometimes misses her mother enough to become an Eevee and hide from the world. Hogwarts has survived trolls, dark wizards, and cursed corridors. Now it has Kaleialoha Wataru. Good luck.
New Life, New Start
~~~Sequeal to Chained But Finally Seen!~~~~ 24 year old Acacia Regina Snape-Potter is a widow, with 7 year old triplet: James Severus Snape-Potter, Evangelina Minerva Snape-Potter, and Amelia Lily Snape-Potter when everything in her life changes again. With few options left, she must find a safe place for her babies. One where they can be loved and safe. She never expected this.
Bound by Chaos
The Ministry of Magic has officially lost its collective mind. In a desperate attempt to increase the magical population, Britain, Bulgaria, and France revive an ancient law: every unmarried witch and wizard of age must participate in a magically binding marriage lottery. No exceptions. No appeals. No escape. The first witch called before the entire student body of Hogwarts, Durmstrang, and Beauxbatons is Aurora Potter-Harry Potter's older sister, Gryffindor Chaser, professional troublemaker, and the daughter of the legendary James Potter. One reach into the enchanted box... One glowing name... Viktor Krum. With one draw, Aurora's future is turned upside down. The Ministry expected quiet acceptance. Instead, they got fireworks, prank hexes, public humiliation, and a furious Potter who inherited James Potter's flair for mischief and Sirius Black's rebellious spirit. As Aurora and Viktor navigate an unwanted magical engagement, one thing becomes painfully clear... Forcing a Potter into anything is the fastest way to start a revolution. "You wanted a happy little ceremony?" Aurora laughed, twirling her wand. "Congratulations. You just declared war on the wrong bloody family."
Three Slytherin witches are promised to the heirs of Durin's Line in an ancient alliance meant to unite magic and the Kingdom Under the Mountain. While Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass reluctantly accept becoming dwarven princesses, one girl unknowingly returns home. Raised in Britain, she never knew she was the daughter of Bofur and Marlene McKinnon. Fierce, cunning, and proud, she lives by one motto: "I am no princess. I am the mother-fucking queen." She has no idea that beneath the Lonely Mountain, an entire kingdom has been waiting for its lost princess to come home.
More detailsContent Guidelines