A letter to the only man I loved...
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- Parts 1
Ongoing36m
Last published Sun, Jul 17, 2011
You were my first love. I honestly never did anything behind your back. I loved you with every part of me. But today, I no longer love you. I no longer feel the same I once did. It took 5 years but I am ready to let go of you. I am ready to forgive you. I can’t keep going on like this anymore. Previous relationship failed because of my ways. Things that could have been avoided if I would have not kept all of this bottled up. I want to smile again and feel happiness. I want to laugh again and not be thinking in the back of my head that its wrong to be happy. I want to feel again. And I am ready to love someone else besides you. I am ready to give someone every single piece of greatness that’s in my body. I am ready…after 5 years I am ready to move on and forgive you.
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Complete
I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?
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