That I Would Be Good
  • Reads 345,296
  • Votes 11,095
  • Parts 28
  • Time 7h 17m
  • Reads 345,296
  • Votes 11,095
  • Parts 28
  • Time 7h 17m
Complete, First published Feb 12, 2013
"I'm not okay!" I yelled at him. "Okay?! I'm not okay." My chest rose up and down as I breathed heavily. It had been years since I had a break down, and I wasn't going to have one right now.
"It's okay not to be okay," he whispered, walking closer to me. He caressed my cheek, trying to sooth me. 
I stared at him, pain filled my eyes. I was trying hard not to cry. I couldn't cry. That's not what I did. 
"It's okay to cry," he comforted. His eyes stared so hard into mine I felt like he was seeing into my soul.
"Crying shows weakness, and I'm not weak," I told him, swallowing hard.
"Sometimes crying is the strongest thing you can do. It just shows everyone else that you're just as human as they are."
And right then and there I started sobbing. I had lost all control of my emotions, I cried like I hadn't since I was little. All those times I didn't cry when I wanted to poured out now. The walls I spent so long building to make them unbreakable, broke. 
     

     Alana  finds a thick orange envelope in her mailbox one day. No return address, no stamp or postage mark and it's not even addressed to her. Someone had just dropped the letter off in her mailbox.  The only thing written on this envelope is "You might need this... or not." Alana takes it inside and begins to read the life story of a complete stranger. The life story of someone trying to find their place in this big scary world.

 © Somethingtrue 2013. All rights reserved.
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Slide 1 of 10
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𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐬~𝐀 𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐚 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐫  cover
Life Goes On cover
Tainted Fruit (Wattpadprize14) cover
FALLING FOR HER ✓ cover
HOME LIES IN YOU cover
Is it too late to say Sorry? - 1 ✓ cover
Indecorous cover

This is my truth

72 parts Ongoing

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.