An Impossible Love

When I was younger my parents would constantly fight. Every night I would wake up to the sound of my drunk mother screaming obscenities at my dad followed by the sound of something being thrown against the wall. My dad was far from the victim though, he would let my mother scream, shout, and throw things then when he grew tired of it all he would beat her into submission. The worst thing was that my mother would never give up, she would fight him and soon the slaps would turn into punches. On some nights mother would be particularly stubborn and I would hear the thump of her body being thrown into the wall or the door and at one point even the kitchen table. Even then mother would still be screaming at dad, bawling her heart and worst of all crying out for me. It seemed that to her I was supposed to be her hero, her knight in shining armor. But what could I do? I was just an 5 year old girl. How was I supposed to go up against an angry grown man? All I could do was bury myself deeper under the covers and pray that night would end and that the sun would finally shine. I hated my dad for beating her, for making her cry, for making her scream. But at the same time I hated my mother for screaming my name, for making me feel powerless, for making me feel like it was my job to save her. But most of all I hated myself for not being able to save her, if I had stepped out that one night, I could have saved her life.