The ABCs of Self Discovery

Are you miserably lost and don't know who you are? Then you've failed. Read this and stop being such a failure. Don't worry, I'm sure even with your literacy level, even you can understand this. If you're not offended by the end, I have failed. Then again, I'm certain that a simpleton like you can pick up on the sarcasm dripping from every letter.
Here's another satire making fun of society today, in reader friendly ABC form.