Is it too late?

It has not been easy and I have shed many tears
Wishing I could just fast forward all of these years
I look at an innocent brown eyed little angel
My gaze becomes empty and hard like a stranger
My heart becomes heavy and my eye wants to cry
And my soul it turns black and curses to die
And the emotions, they keep running through my veins
Squirming and convulsing, individual little brains
Ohhh! Ohh! The agony of these games!
And my mind it flusters! It moves back and forth
And I wonder why I beat at a dead horse
And I wonder how could this be ?
How I could be blind when I am able to see
And I wonder how a heart could fill up with both love and hate
And I wonder if I need saving or is it already too late