Second to None
- Reads 45
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- Parts 4
I have a body that works against me. I have a brain that tells me I shouldn't be here. I am taking too many risks. I should be afraid. Those people who are being nice to me will hurt me. I have to be alone with the only person I think I can trust: me.
But then I met Jonas and Micah, two mysterious boys who kept me safe and I opened up to them. I had never known trust like this and I had never let someone see so much of myself.
I still live with that paranoia, those unwelcome thoughts swirling overhead that the only people I feel I can trust betray me. That's exactly what happened too. And I don't handle these things well. They knew that and they still hurt me. I closed everyone out again and lived my life despite my inability to trust and therefore love. I bump into them now and again and feel myself tearing apart with the desire to trust them once more and turn them away.
So I ask myself: can I be happy living my life alone?
Thanks to @iampillowbunny707 for this.
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I thought I would never have to make a decision. But know I do. Many hot guys. Some I like as friends. Some I like more than friends. Especially one that I love the most. I probably wouldn't be able to make it through this adventure without my two best friends and Him. I already have enough problems already. Since I was five with the death of my great grandpa and my first killing of a human nothing has been the same for me. Demons. They show me images of stuff that isn't true. And I believe them. Depression has been my worst enemy. I live with it everyday. My best friends I can't even trust anymore because of the images. I only trust certain guys.
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