bitter » c.h (coming soon)

It's been 1 month 1 week and 3 days since he left us, and I still haven't found it in me to read his parting words.
Instead, I've found other ways of occupying myself.
Other ways like going through his things.
Watching old videos of us stored in his computer.
Wearing his old band t-shirts to sleep.

If I could just go back, if I could just let him know how much I love him, comfort him, let him know I was there, let him know that I was never going to leave, maybe things would be different.

But I can't, and it's not.

They say love is beautiful.
They say love is careful.
They say love is blind.

But if you ask me love is the opposite.
Love is beautifully depressing, carefully numbing, and blind fully overruling.

And now, all I have left is this bitter taste in my mouth and this heartbreaking pain in my chest.

My love was hurtful
His love was long lasting

But together, our love was BITTER.