Behind All The Dark

Behind All The Dark

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WpMetadataNoticeÚltima publicación vie, jun 19, 2015
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Temas Sociales
MY HANDS ACHED AS THE COLD WIND SHOWED NO MERCY TO ME AS I WALKED DOWN THE DINGY STREETS AT THIS ELEVENTH HOUR OF DARK AND MADNESS. I WAS SCARED; I WANTED TO RUN, TO HIDE, TO SCREAM. BUT I COULDN’T. I COULDN’T TAKE THE RISK OF ATTRACTING ANY KIND OF ATTENTION . GOOD OR BAD. I KEPT MY HEAD LOW AND MY EARS SHUT TO WHATEVER THAT WAS HAPPENING HERE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO SURVIVE. SURVIVE FOR MYSELF. I’D ALREADY LOST MY OTHER REASON TO LIVE THIS NIGHT. BUT ULTIMATELY IT ALL GAVE ME THE STRENGTH TO ACT AGAINST MY ABUSIVE STEP MOTHER AND HIS ASSHOLE OF A BOYFRIEND. I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT ME, I’M NICOLE BUT I PREFER BEING CALLED NIKKI. I’M 18 YEAR OLD TEENAGER WHICH NEVER HAD A NORMAL TEENAGE LIFE. AND I JUST RAN AWAY FROM HOME. WHICH WASN’T MUCH OF A HOME ANYWAYS. I BREATHENED AND SMELLED MY FREEDOM. I KNEW IT WOULDN’T BE MUCH TO SURVIVE. BUT IT WAS ALL THAT I NEEDED IN THIS MOMENT. SCRATCH IT, ALL THAT I NEEDED IN THE PREVIOUS MOMENT. NOW ALL THAT I NEEDED TO DO WAS RUN.
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rebellious
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Hurt, pain, doubt, insecurity, temporary happiness, fear, toxic relationships, anger, anxiety, issues, and chaos. They were the unwelcome passengers on my road trip of life. While being pregnant with my daughter Lea, I was in a really dark place and one day I met some random girl in college name Nicole, she sat next to me on the hallway floor. Her being there was making me tremble from the inside out. But it wasn't her, it was Jesus in her. The way she let Jesus take over her life, made everyone feel the presence of God. I started to sobbed and she hugged me (without knowing me) then I cried even harder. She said, "there's nothing you can do that will make God unlove you." To make the long story short, that day I surrender my life to Jesus and made a friend for life. I decided to make this 39 days bookish of writings because when life hit us hard we need a reminder of hope, joy, faith, love, and worth. The thing that inspires me every time I find myself in great difficulty is the knowledge that God loves me unconditionally, despite all my shortcomings.

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