I'll Never Write Fiction Again: The Surreal Misadventures of a Digital Novelist - Lola Dom - Wattpad

Story cover for I'll Never Write Fiction Again: The Surreal Misadventures of a Digital Novelist by LolaDom

I'll Never Write Fiction Again: The Surreal Misadventures of a Digital Novelist

Reads 3,502
Votes 585
Parts 8
Time 43m

Reads 3,502
Votes 585
Parts 8
Time 43m

absurdist comedy humor humour jokes julian nonfiction novel parody projectgiggle shortstory surreal wattpad wattys2016 writemylife writer

🥇1st Place - '18 Neon Awards - Random
🥇1st Place - '18 Fruit of Love Awards - Humor

I'm Elle, and this is my novel, Jay. 

After rescuing my kidnapped plot from a minor character, getting kicked out of my house for cheating on Jay with a smut novel, and sobering up from a Wattpad votes and comments addiction, I've had it. 

I'll never write fiction again.

(Our misadventures can be read in any order. Enjoy!)All Rights Reserved

absurdist comedy humor humour jokes julian nonfiction novel parody projectgiggle shortstory surreal wattpad wattys2016 writemylife writer

Table of contents

8 parts

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Dysarthria | Dialogue Story ✔ by HappyEndingWriter

Dys • ar • thri • a difficult or unclear articulation speech that is otherwise linguistically normal - Doubt it? How do you know this blossoming friendship won't turn into something more? Cuz that kind of stuff only happens in Wattpad books. Someone texting or calling the wrong number, they fall in love, meet in person, confess their undying love for each other, happily ever after, the end. Too cliché. Even for me. - Gracie Summers was born with a brain injury which led to dysarthria. She hardly every spoke to anyone outside her family, and even then, she used short sentences. When she receives a text from the wrong number, will she develop feelings for him or succumb to the threats from the girl whose number he was supposed to text that night? {EDITED COMPLETE BY ME / @JULIE_PROOFEDIT } Word count // 20,000 Word count (after editing) // 50,000+ #15 / 26.1K stories in 'truestory' tag {7/21/2022} #1 / 44.5K stories in 'nonfiction' tag {5/17/22} #1 / 302K stories in 'shortstory' tag {5/27/22} #1 / 168K stories in 'call' tag {8/6/22} #1 / 132K stories in 'short' tag {6/8/22} #1 / 186K stories in 'comedy' tag {7/21/24} #8 / 238K stories 'funny' tag {7/22/24}

Historically Inaccurate by _shaybravo

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION When her initiation into her college's History Club goes awry, Sol has to come face to face with Ethan-the cute guy whose house she just broke into. ***** Soledad Gutierrez, or Sol to her friends, decides to join the History Club at her Community college. However, this club is not like other clubs: they have an initiation process and a slew of other 'extracurricular activities.' In order to join the club, Sol must break into the oldest house in her small Californian town and steal one of their forks. The club members provide all the materials to break in; she just needs to take the utensil, take a selfie in the kitchen, and get out undetected-with the fork, of course. The problem is: Ethan Winston spots Sol in his grandparent's house, and he's determined to uncover the reason behind the break-in. However, both he and Sol are thrown for a loop when feelings begin to develop between them. And as Ethan becomes suspicious of the History Club, he and Sol get tangled in an adventure none of them were expecting. [[word count: 90,000-100,000 words]] [[Wattys 2019 Winner for Young Adult + Being Published by Wattpad Books in Fall 2020]]

The King by maniellah

MATURE BOOK! MEANING MATURE THEMES, TOPICS SUCH AS SA, S*ICIDE, ETC... If ur definition of mature was just smut this book doesn't have it-BUT BEFORE U RUN AWAY!! The second book of this series does! - THIS IS A WEREWOLF BOOK WHERE ARE YALL GETTING MAFIA FROM????? "No." I stated. "They don't exist." His emerald eyes pierced into my soul, they seemed to be dissecting me. He had his arms wrapped around my waist, each passing second his grip was getting tighter and tighter. He started to lean in, closing the gap between us. His eyes never hesitating from my lips. He inched closer and closer until I could feel his minty breath now fanning out on my face. He licked his lips before looking into my own eyes again, and with a smirk he swooped his head down. I prepared for the kiss but it never came, he came in and swiped his head to the side. Rubbing his cheek with my own, the soft stubble scratching my skin and sending shockwaves down my spine as he moved to my ear. "You claim you don't believe in soulmates but, you so clearly feel the pull." #1 in love 12/5/2018 #1 in human 12/28/2018 #1 in comedy 1/17/2019 #1 in young adult 4/8/2019 #1 in cold 4/16/2019

Words Of An Idle Mind by _theidlemind_

~this idle mind is no devil's workshop~ •••~•••~••• ||Featured on WATTPAD CHRONICLE -May2018 (wattpad's official monthly magazine)|| || Featured on WATTPAD CHRONICLE- July2018 (wattpad's official monthly magazine)|| ||Featured on @AmbassadorJP reading list (June 2018)|| ||Featured on 'Well Worth The Wait' Reading list of @UndiscoveredBooks || ||Winner of WATTFEST for JapanFest collaboration (May 2018)|| ||Winner of THE MYSTICAL AWARDS (2/6/18)|| ||Winner of The Golden Awards - Random (2018)|| •••~•••~••• *Poetry is not only about feelings, it's a religion based on views, emotions and insights.* This book is a collection of unconventional poems and excerpts. It has more than just words about love, loneliness, etc. •••~•••~••• Do give it a chance, i am sure you'll enjoy it. Please VOTE-COMMENT-SHARE as you read all the peices. Your insights on my work is like water in my bloodstream. It encourages me more to bring you better works. Highest rank: #22 In top 50 (5/4/18 - 13/5/18)

Welcome To The World Of Short Stories by VirginiaDude757

Hey, guys! Here is another collection of short stories, that will feature me, my Wattpad friends, my friends I know in real life, and random characters! Looking for an escape from reality? You come to the right place! Enjoy your time in the world of short stories! :)

Book Of Ha Ha 2 by 1deanx

Part 2 ..... Collection of jokes ... Comment, vote & have fun reading. These jokes aren't mine, all credit(s) goes to the rightful owner(s). Book Of Ha Ha Part 1: https://www.wattpad.com/story/125795639-book-of-ha-ha Book Of Ha Ha Part 3: https://www.wattpad.com/story/129517281-book-of-ha-ha-3

THE FRENCH TOAST by thecharmedmoon

Introduction Bonjour! I'm Clara Dumont, a charming Frenchwoman who recently traded the elegant streets of Paris for the vibrant hustle and bustle of a new city in America. With a heart full of dreams and a suitcase full of French pastries, I embarked on this grand adventure, hoping to embrace the unknown and discover what lies beyond the familiar. This diary is my little sanctuary-a place where I'll document my triumphs, mishaps, and all the amusing encounters that come with navigating life in a new country while trying to master the quirks of the English language. Join me as I stumble through this journey of laughter, learning, and, hopefully, a touch of serendipity.

YAS. by Godsofpercyjackson

BOOK TWO. This the sequel you have been waiting for my wattpadians that have read my story before this WHAT. This is the sequel man. Are you not squealing? Really? Okay. Fine. Be that way. Funny stories about me and my friends, my family and embarrassing moments that have made me feel emotions. Please read the first book. Vote, comment, laugh, cry, make a reading list dedicated to this story. Read on readers.

The Afternoon tea club: 2014 #WATTYS2014 by Jadewritesastory

The lives of group of seriously weird teenagers that just stumbled apon the amazingness of Wattpad. Sometime you may question our sanity, laugh at our retarded lives and enjoy the hilararity of the situations we seem to end up in somehow. Join in on the adventures of Jade, Shelly, Cinda, Susan, Vine, Nat, Annie and others that somehow get involved in this madness. Enjoy and have a laugh! This story is not appropraite for intoxicated walruses. © Jadewritesastory 2014

Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) by vineethereader

"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **

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Slide 1 of 10

Dysarthria | Dialogue Story ✔ cover

Historically Inaccurate cover

Words Of An Idle Mind cover

Welcome To The World Of Short Stories cover

Book Of Ha Ha 2 cover

THE FRENCH TOAST cover

The Afternoon tea club: 2014 #WATTYS2014 cover

Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) cover

Dysarthria | Dialogue Story ✔

Dys • ar • thri • a difficult or unclear articulation speech that is otherwise linguistically normal - Doubt it? How do you know this blossoming friendship won't turn into something more? Cuz that kind of stuff only happens in Wattpad books. Someone texting or calling the wrong number, they fall in love, meet in person, confess their undying love for each other, happily ever after, the end. Too cliché. Even for me. - Gracie Summers was born with a brain injury which led to dysarthria. She hardly every spoke to anyone outside her family, and even then, she used short sentences. When she receives a text from the wrong number, will she develop feelings for him or succumb to the threats from the girl whose number he was supposed to text that night? {EDITED COMPLETE BY ME / @JULIE_PROOFEDIT } Word count // 20,000 Word count (after editing) // 50,000+ #15 / 26.1K stories in 'truestory' tag {7/21/2022} #1 / 44.5K stories in 'nonfiction' tag {5/17/22} #1 / 302K stories in 'shortstory' tag {5/27/22} #1 / 168K stories in 'call' tag {8/6/22} #1 / 132K stories in 'short' tag {6/8/22} #1 / 186K stories in 'comedy' tag {7/21/24} #8 / 238K stories 'funny' tag {7/22/24}