If you really knew me (poems and short stories)

There's been days i feel like giving up.
Giving up on emotions.
Thoughts.
People.
Places.
Meaning.
Myself.

Giving up was something i would refuse myself to believe in. That giving up was a purpose to not give up.
But its hard to pretend to act strong when deep within i'm just as scared.
Its hard to pretend that im always surrounded by those who care but in reality im fully surrounded by the heavy feeling of loneliness and despair yet all these people only know my name.
Breathing, Sighing. The release of potentially toxic carbon dioxide even feels more of a reliver than what i feel everyday.
Even the pain upon my tiny chest doesnt even equal to the psychotic experience of both my past and my present.
Giving up was never something i intend to do but its hard when everyone you cared for gave up on you.
Its harder to pick yourself up from utter brokenness and just try to carry yourself up.
But nobody will see me. Nobody will understand me. Nobody seems to want to try to understand me.
Because to them im not normal. But to them normal is not normal to me. To me, normal is not common to me. Normal is not an old friend. Normal has no meaning to me.
Scars is an old friend of mine. Scars tend to remind me how i got hurt and to not trust again. every scar about me and my body has meaning. Normal doesnt.
But sometimes when the time is right i want to give up. Until suddenly a voice deep within me told me "I never gave up on you. Why should I give up on you?"
Faith was something that doesnt come easily. But when it does, the surge of empowerment over flows through me to be better, to become better.
But all it takes is someone to never give up one me.
And that I taught myself to not give up.