Prodigious Abyss (I love you , best friend)

"He hurt me Cara , maybe not willingly but he broke my heart and he does so every single day , when he walks in at night wearing that secret smile , or when he smells of her cheap awful perfume , or when i hear them giggle and make love in his bedroom. Most devasating of them all is not being there for me anymore , not with our usual daily stuff but through the big decisions he promised he'd be there for. He is killing me everyday , every minute , every second , and i'm forced to stand there and watch , to accept his choices , to accept the fact that i'm left behind now . Do you understand how hard it is for me to fake a smile everytime she comes over ? I'm not that kind of person , i don't do that , i don't fake smiles and lie about what i think of people. I just want to look her straight in the eyes and tell her that i hate her , that she's a snake and i know that she's up to something , i want him to see that i'm suffering and that i'm not okay in her presence."