What is this

My Heart is shattered
But i can still feel it beating
My mind is racing
But not thinking
I can see you
But my eyes are sealed
Im shaking all over
But I'm not moving
I can hear
But i feel deaf.
I can touch you
But your touch makes me numb.
I can hate you
But yet love you
I hate seeing you
But your face brightens my day.
What is this?
Its as if its storming outside but there are no clouds in sight.
I can feel your arms around me, but you are not here.
I speak your name hatingly when I'm alone,but i speak it lovingly when others are around.
Your the main cause of my happiness, yet your the doom that awaits me.
What is this?