shattered (a.r. au)

shattered (a.r. au)

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Jun 22, 2016
she was innocent - pure. had these blue eyes you could stare at, her soul was right there, in her eyes as if you looked down a winding concrete road, that went on for miles. stronger than the wind, but like glass, it could be shattered with the wrong point. and that's why I need to stay away from her. i'm afraid if i got to close... the pins and needles i carry will shatter it, and she'll be nothing but a broken road that's not easy to fix. - he was like a wildfire - crazy, over the edge. wasn't one to care, but i somehow got under his skin as if, he couldn't say no to me. or, couldn't back down from a fight about me. he protected me, though i dont think he believes he's doing so. at first, he pushed me away. then brought me in. but something changed, he returned to his old ways. right when I crashed and fell. will he see what he's done? hopefully soon, i don't know how long i can walk this road alone.
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Dear Diary: 14/01/2019 Monday I can't believe my luck. After 6 long years of silence, after so much heartache and healing, I saw him today. The one who took my heart, the one I trusted to keep it safe, only for him to crush it beneath his spiked boots. Not literally-he never wore spiked boots-but the pain he caused me back then? It felt like he might as well have. I tried so hard to keep my expression neutral when I saw him, but I could feel it slipping. The surprise, the confusion, the sting of old wounds, all right there on my face. I wonder if my boss noticed. I wonder if he noticed. He looked different, of course. It's been six years, after all, but he seemed so calm, so composed... and I can't deny it-he looked good. Too good. It caught me off guard how attractive he still is, maybe even more so now. That sense of ease he carries... it's the kind of cool confidence that feels magnetic. Damn it, I hope I looked different to him, too. Better, stronger-like a woman who has come into her own. I hope he saw that and thought, "I lost something special." I'm trying to tell myself it doesn't matter, that this chance meeting was just that: chance. But there's this voice inside me, a quiet one at first, now growing louder, whispering, "What are the odds?" What are the chances that, after all these years, after all that we've both been through, we would cross paths again like this? It doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything. I'm practically married and my fiance is the one I've built a future with. But I won't lie-the thought of him, of what could've been, still echoes in my mind, and it's unsettling how easy those old feelings are to stir.

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