The Secret Diaries: Mokery - XxSXxM - Wattpad

Story cover for The Secret Diaries: Mokery by XxSXxM

The Secret Diaries: Mokery

Reads 21
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Parts 4
Time 1h 2m

Reads 21
Votes 0
Parts 4
Time 1h 2m

Mature

coming-of-age confusion cutting depression diary drama drugs entries fictional harm love nyc poetry problems realistic self teenage texts

Here's how it all started, I was depressed, heavy, hurt. Out of this world sad and then he came around. That can't make me crazy. We talked... he talked to me... ME... and he wanted to spend time with me... ME... no... no, I'm not crazy. My friends thought I was happy, I thought I was happy... he made me happy. I... am... not... crazy. So, what if I think about him 24/7, romance movies make clingy a fairy tale, I check my texts a lot, but at least I'm not dying... dying... I am not crazy. So why in the hell do I feel so crazy.All Rights Reserved

coming-of-age confusion cutting depression diary drama drugs entries fictional harm love nyc poetry problems realistic self teenage texts

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𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭| 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 |𝟏𝟖+ by Psycho_xbabyx

**𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐳** Panic surges through me, and before I know it, I'm turning on my heel, trying to run, to escape the impending punishment. I barely make it a few steps before I feel his hand clamp down on my hair, yanking me back with terrifying force. "Going somewhere, little girl?" "P-please let g- ahh! Please! H-Hurts me!" "Afraid, are we now, baby?" His voice is a snarl now, filled with fury. "L-leave m-me," tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I'm scared of him, scared of what he'll do to my friend, scared of what he'll do to me. His grip on my hair tightens and I wince, choking back a sob. "Oh, why? Don't you like my hands on you, baby?" He mocks hurt that instantly turns back into anger. "But you were fine when that fucker touched you, ain't that right?" Then he pulls a silver knife out of his suit, twirling it lazily between his ink-covered knuckles and my blood freezes at the sight of that psychotic grin. ***** People quaked with fear at the sound of his name and me along with them. He was Demetrios 'the God' Nikolayev and he was first in command of Russian mafia. He was a true psychopath who enjoyed hurting people, and I hated him for that. The worst thing - he owned me. "Try to accept the darkness, because from now on, it will be your only light." I tried so hard, but I couldn't understand it back then. How possibly can darkness be light? ***** This is not a vanilla romance but a dark, toxic, perverted, obsessive story. The book contains mature themes such as foul language, bdsm, sexual and abusive content, kinks, blood, manipulation, etc. Please keep that in mind.

The Days With No Sun by hello-no-one

Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...

A Forever That Lasted by didishay

"Everything I need is here," he whispered in my ear. I looked into his eyes, only to see me in them. He pulled me closer; we were just inches away from each other his breath was fanning my face. I could hear our heart beat in a rhythm, being this close to him; I could feel his heart hammering in his chest. His grip tightened around my waist as he placed his other hand on my cheek. My hands were on his chest, holding his shirt which seemed like my only support as my knees felt like jelly! It seemed so magical. We were so lost in each other, he leaned closer and my eyes shut automatically. As soon as his lips met mine, a thousand fire crackers started bursting in my head, there were goosebumps on my skin and butterflies in my stomach. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Should you tolerate anything in a relationship just to make it work or because he's your first love? Because sometimes, for a FOREVER you will have to fall in love all over again..

Better Kept Secret by kitten4644

Elowyn "Winnie" Smith met Ben when she was 4 years old. They've been best friends since they were 6. After her dad died when she was 13, he was the only person she wanted to talk to. He should know everything about her, shouldn't he? But he doesn't, and Elowyn is slowly drowning in the weight of her secrets. He doesn't know about the creepy guy who won't leave her alone or how bad her home life and her mother have gotten. And he definitely doesn't know that she's slowly falling in love with him. But he would never want her, he's captain of the soccer team and could have any girl he wants. She's the girl he sees as a sister, he's even known her since before she went to speech therapy for her stutter. So why can't she shake this feeling, even though she knows it's so wrong? ✦ ─ ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ ─ ✦ He draws me back in, our lips connecting again and I feel like I'm melting. Like I can't think at all. Like there's no such thing as any of my problems. There's no depressed mom, there's no jealousy, there's no secrets. There's only his calloused hand rubbing my cheek and his hair beneath my fingers. I'm hot and I'm cold and I'm melting. I'm gone, disappearing into the sand beneath us. ✦ ─ ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ ─ ✦ Tropes: friends to lovers, childhood friends, golden boy, shy girl x popular boy, only one bed, secret crush Triggers: mental illness, depression, sa

Altered by LuellaOpal

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

Happy Endings by Magnolia_Abernathy

"Don't you see now why we can't be together?" I whispered at the crazy boy in front of me. "Aren't you repulsed by me? Disgusted? Dis interested? Can't you just tear my heart out and leave like any other normal teenage boy?" My voice cracked. He simply shook his head. "Sweetheart, I thought I made it clear from the first time I said it," He paused, "I. Like. You." He emphasized every word, and I gaped at him. "Hell of a lot, actually, so it'd be great if you stopped being salty and liked me back." "Don't you get it?" I whispered unbelievingly, "After all that, and you still don't get why I can't be with you?" He seemed relaxed, calm. Too calm for this situation. "My life doesn't involve a guy like you, Nathan. Never did. You're not my knight in shinning armor, and you aren't going to save me. This is reality, the real world. And the real world doesn't have happy endings." ---- To me, there's are six different types of crying. One; The Breakdown. Two; The Longing. Three; The Hysterical. Four; The Broken. Five; The Happy. Six; The Inevitable." ---- This short story is very depressing, I'm warning you now. It may trigger memories, or depression symptoms.

SURRENDER - Mafia Romance by riinab

BOOK 1 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐒, 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐋, 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒, 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ♚ "𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴, 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭ish 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴." ♚ "Enough!" I yelled but before I could breathe in I was pinned to the wall. I gasped. Staring into his dark blue eyes made every bone of my body weak. He smirked, knowing exactly what he did. "You got too comfortable with me, doll but I didn't show you what Ace can really do." He mumbled. He broke the eye contact we were having and leaned closer to my neck. My heart beat was racing his and each breath he took sent electricity all over my body. I bit my tongue, scared of what my brain could make me say. "And I don't think you want to know," he whispered so close to my ear sending shivers down my spine. I took a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts. He moved back to stare into my eyes, wanting to see his effect on me but I didn't give it to him. I smirked, pushed my chin down and looked up at him. "You're all talk, Ace," I whispered, not even blinking. I saw the gulp that rose in his throat, growing my smirk. "Even when I am under your grip, you're still under my control." ♚ ♚ TROPES ♚ Dark Romance Mafia Romance Forced proximity Enemies to lovers Love triangle Living together ♚ 14.08.23: 2 Dangerous 12.03.24: 2 lovetriangle 26.11.24: 1 action-romance ♚

Trapped in a Black Rose by lilli_vmaya

They say love is meant to set you free. it is a fairy tale a dream But what if it traps you instead? he wasn't supposed to be in my life. He wasn't supposed to know my fears, my pain... or the danger I walked into. But he did. Now, those who tried to hurt me are the ones begging for mercy. And Him? He just smiles and says, "You're mine, now. No one can hurt you-just tell me, and I'll take care of it." I should run. I should be scared. But instead, I feel safe in the arms of the boy who is a pshyco, who killed people for me, who shouldn't have found me. This isn't love. This is obsession. And yet... I don't want to escape Love isn't supposed to be this intense, this dangerous. But with him, I feel safe. And trapped. So tell me... is this love? Or a beautiful curse?.

Irresistible by ImmaFrootLoop

I looked up at the man in front of me. He was HOT. But he was also forbidden fruit. He was Alex's brother for God's sake! My boyfriend's brother, none the less. I shouldn't feel at all attracted to him, but the way he was looking at me right now... This wasn't right. He leaned closer though. I was losing all control right then. He pressed his lips to my jaw and my mind went completely blank, like it always does when he was this close. This was wrong. This was wrong. I knew it, but I couldn't bring myself to find the reason. Then it came to me. Alex. Alex would be angry. Now I seemed like a whore. Another kiss, on my neck this time, and another thought slipped away. This is still wrong... Why though? Think Beatrice! Alex came to mind again. Alex came to mind again. I knew there were more reasons than that, but I couldn't think of them at the moment. He moved his lips again, this time peppering kisses across my collarbone and he stopped at the hollow of my throat. I gasped softly. Now my mind was empty. I wasn't even thinking clearly. The only thought that passed my mind was that I wanted more of this. More of him.

Elemental: Love in pieces #1 by kcnamiswan

Are you up for a steamy romance? One night, one mistake that will change her life forever. He never thought he would feel anything again, especially love, until he met her. Everybody thinks that she's the quiet type, Nobody knows who she really is except for her best friends Sarah, Natalia and Sky. All anybody knows is that she came here for one thing to graduate, and that's all she can possibly focus on, right? She's an all A's student and she never fails to win. Nobody expects such a goody two shoes to be as bad as she really is. There's no way a person can fall in love with someone overnight, right? Because that's impossible. I'm not supposed to be loved, and I'm not supposed to feel love. I'm a loner who stays by herself. The only exception is my friends, and that's just friendship. I will never ever fall in love. The idea of it makes me scared. For somebody to love me back is impossible because everybody that's ever loved me left me, either in death or in literal sense. I'm a curse that has not been broken. The Night Sky. He's the type of guy every girl wants, but only a select Few can get. At what cost will he pay? By pursuing this non-Blueblood. Because in his world, reputation is everything and this will taint it. But he doesn't care. He only cares about her. Everything about her is beautiful to him, which she seems to find impossible, and he doesn't know what to do because he's never felt anything before in his life and that, that is what scares them both the most. How can one's taste be so addictive, so powerful? Why am I so drawn to her? I've never felt this way about anything at all in my whole entire life. Ever. Nothing. I feel nothing. I've always felt nothing. So why does she make me feel something? I'm drawn to her, and I cannot stop. And I will not stop at any cost. I will get this girl because she is mine and she always will be. She just doesn't know it yet. I am a curse. People always leave me in death, but maybe she is my cure.

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Slide 1 of 10

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭| 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 |𝟏𝟖+ cover

The Days With No Sun cover

A Forever That Lasted cover

Better Kept Secret cover

Happy Endings cover

SURRENDER - Mafia Romance cover

Trapped in a Black Rose cover

Irresistible cover

Elemental: Love in pieces #1 cover

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭| 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 |𝟏𝟖+

𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐳 Panic surges through me, and before I know it, I'm turning on my heel, trying to run, to escape the impending punishment. I barely make it a few steps before I feel his hand clamp down on my hair, yanking me back with terrifying force. "Going somewhere, little girl?" "P-please let g- ahh! Please! H-Hurts me!" "Afraid, are we now, baby?" His voice is a snarl now, filled with fury. "L-leave m-me," tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I'm scared of him, scared of what he'll do to my friend, scared of what he'll do to me. His grip on my hair tightens and I wince, choking back a sob. "Oh, why? Don't you like my hands on you, baby?" He mocks hurt that instantly turns back into anger. "But you were fine when that fucker touched you, ain't that right?" Then he pulls a silver knife out of his suit, twirling it lazily between his ink-covered knuckles and my blood freezes at the sight of that psychotic grin. * People quaked with fear at the sound of his name and me along with them. He was Demetrios 'the God' Nikolayev and he was first in command of Russian mafia. He was a true psychopath who enjoyed hurting people, and I hated him for that. The worst thing - he owned me. "Try to accept the darkness, because from now on, it will be your only light." I tried so hard, but I couldn't understand it back then. How possibly can darkness be light? * This is not a vanilla romance but a dark, toxic, perverted, obsessive story. The book contains mature themes such as foul language, bdsm, sexual and abusive content, kinks, blood, manipulation, etc. Please keep that in mind.