Diary of a Messed Up Teenager - Shiradesu (Solaris) - Wattpad

Diary of a Messed Up Teenager

Reads 4,089
Votes 246
Parts 104
Time 3h 13m

Reads 4,089
Votes 246
Parts 104
Time 3h 13m

blood cry depressed depression diary die empty friendship hatemyself life love meh numb sad sadness story suicidal suicide thewattys2016 wattys2018

Welcome to this book of bitching, rant and pretty insulting things, this is a book of self-understanding, even from the horrible things I said to people, which can make me regret up until today. 

This is the story of my life, things that happen. 

It's literally a diary, as the title implies! 

You can read my bipolar thoughts, feelings and problems involving, love, school and friendship, between other things.

If you feel like you might be having any of the problems contained in here:
    •Stop reading, for your own good.
    •Ask me for help, I'm always here.
    •Say nothing.


Most of this is depressive things, but there are also some parts that involve happy thoughts.

This book contains subjects about: self-harm, suicide, self-hate, depression, etc.

If you don't like any of these do NOT read.

In any way, it's up to you if you want to read!


I don't have an specific day I update, though I normally do at night, but it's just when something happens and I want to write it down. 



Anyway, I hope you enjoy ^*^ <3


"Stupid minds are the ones who walk the simple paths."
           -Unknown

"One something is truly lost, one can never get it back."
           -Ciel Phantomhive

"The darkest places are the ones in which demons hide the most."
           -b.r.g.

"Believe in your strengths, believe."
           -Happy Mask Salesman

#45 in Non-Fiction 07/05/2016

Update April 2017: People change. And I'm doing for good. I'm learning, I'm improving. I finally am finding myself. Don't be afraid to look for you. :)All Rights Reserved

blood cry depressed depression diary die empty friendship hatemyself life love meh numb sad sadness story suicidal suicide thewattys2016 wattys2018

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104 parts

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I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

IT & ST Imagines & Preferences by armiehammerbykesha

i wrote this when i was 13 so i'm sorry for how bad it is but a lot of people seem to enjoy it so i'm leaving it up, just know i am self aware x

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Lets Just Say..... I Was Not Expecting This by BUBSTER_Na_Na_

I was not expecting to turn into werewolf on my 16th birthday, definitely not expecting the word Mate to be real and very legit and like the god damn cherry on top my parents joined us to a pack and moved me, my brother and sisters away from our only life we knew. I guess you could say I was suprised but that would be the biggest understatement of the year. The only thing I'm thinking about right now is well things could've been alot worse...... shit I really shouldn't have said that, I pretty much just jinxed myself. Sienna was 16 when her life was turned upside down. Turning into a werewolf was not part of her plan neither was moving or finding her mate. She believed her life was perfect before moving but now she see's it for what It really was...... a mess but now her life is more messy then ever will she ever be able to clean it up?

Dear Bully by ariana-word

*A TWO PART SERIES* **************** The new transfer student can't catch a break almost immediately arriving on her first day at a new school. She is bullied by a certain group of kids, but one guy out of the bunch sticks out the most to her. What is her high school experience, love life, mentality, and health like if she is always hung up about writing these letters to him all the time? **************** Dear Bully, I have somethings to say to you... **************** Started on August 18, 2016 Finished on October 20, 2016 **************** *COMPLETED* *REVISED on January 21, 2024*

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

Welcome to My Life by pajamas0213

First off, Welcome to My Life! This is a little collection of any small, short stories of things that have been frustrating me this year. It will not be update regularly, but updates will most likely happen occasionally. I know if my friends IRL are reading the first 8 stories, they would be confused about these feelings and all that, but the main reason why I didn't tell them was because I found no reason to drag them back into my own past. Also, I just needed somewhere to let it out. By the way, the ending of what I guess you call is the first "story arc" is kind of sappy, but please bare with me. ---> This however is no longer true and the only story that remains is the first one you can see. After the 8th story, it changes from angry blurb rant things to just fun happy kind of things. You'll get to hear more about my crazy awesome friends and what we do. Not sure how good those stories will turn out because I suck at writing about real life stories, but, by all means, enjoy! By the way, the highest rating I ever had in Non-Fiction was #83 on May 20, 2015! If you can help boost me up there again, I would love that!

𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑲𝑺 by iam_onyx

"𝐈 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇. 𝒀'𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑰 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝒐𝒇𝒇.......𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕? 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆. 𝑰𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏..." 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕀𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕚. 𝔸 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕒 𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕒𝕔𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕪. 𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕤 𝕒 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕖𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙. ℍ𝕠𝕡 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕒𝕣𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕠𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕀𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕚 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕦𝕣𝕥. "Sometimes you put walls up,not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down"-𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 #6 Tumor #12 Numb #

Diary Of A Teenage Girl by Feralleral

This is just for fun / a way to document how my life is going without having to worry about anyone finding a diary I dont have a real diary so im Just doing this on here. I dont write in here every day, and chapters are short most of the time. Just shit that happends in my life. Also i cant spell for shit, so if you read this, have fun (so fuxkings nuch of it is autocorect if I didnt have autocorenct it would look like tis.)

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Slide 1 of 10

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

IT & ST Imagines & Preferences cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

Cold Water cover

Lets Just Say..... I Was Not Expecting This cover

Dear Bully cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Welcome to My Life cover

Diary Of A Teenage Girl cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014