Clarity
- Reads 336
- Votes 10
- Parts 2
Ongoing8m
Last published Mon, Oct 28, 2013
"I don't know what's real anymore."
Something's not right. This doesn't feel right. Should I talk to somebody¬NO NO NO, they'll think I'm being crazy. I'm just being silly. I should stop thinking about it.
Maybe I am Going crazy...
OK, OK, I have to stop thinking about it. I'm thinking way too much. yes. It might be nothing wrong at all. I'm just over reacting. I should have spoken to someone, but it's too late now, I'll just make it worse. yes you will. Don't be so stupid. Idiot. STOP.
What if I... NO NO NO NO. yes. You have. No.
Everything is wrong. No Just you. Why do I have to think this way. Because you're broken. The world is still the same.You're just different. I just want to stop over thinking. But you can't. Stupid. There is nobody I can speak to. That's yourfault. Nobody understands my problems. Because you're a freak. I'm so stupid. Yes. Idiot. Yes.
I need help. No one can help you. I make things worse for everybody. Yes. People would be happier without me. They would. I wish this would just end. Then end it. I wish I would die. Then do it. I can't. Coward. No, I'm not a coward. Youare a coward. No. Yes. I am a coward.
You are the worst. I am the worst. You Should just die. I wish I could. Nobody loves you. Nobody does. You're worthless. I am. You think too much. Yes you make things worse yes you're wrong, yes. Broken, yes Different, yes. Stupid, yes it's all yourfault. Yes. You're a freak. Yes Stupid, yes. Idiot, yes. Better without you. Yes. End it ... Do it ... Coward. . You are the worst
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Paranoia... has become my constant companion. Ahh... Danny, what've you gotten yourself into? Thought I was doing something... thought I was gonna get better. Turns out it was all for nothing. I knew I'd be here again. Rock bottom's the only place for real pieces of shit like us... Like me. All that self-improvement didn't mean shit... Or I guess it did, or I wouldn't be here right now... Trying to fill those shoes, re-paint that grim portrait that haunted me... and I did, made everyone proud, even you mom... But it won't mean anything if I die out here. I thought those jumbled remnants of thoughts were the pull of my former self in a disassosiative amnesia from the drugs... Guess it was the pull of a much more treacherous force. I wish I could've lived my fantasy out and been happy.... At least you were, while it lasted. "Times almost up, they'll be here soon." TRIGGER WARNINGS: Crude humor, Illicit drug use, Drug overdose, loss of a child, suicide, bullying, traumatic events, Mature themes, graphic violence, death.
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