Boy
- Reads 13
- Votes 2
- Parts 1
I want to die
Go to a place where no other souls lie
I want to die
So I'm away from anyone so I don't have to say goodbye
I want to die
I'll scream on the top of my lungs and come back down with a big sigh
I want to fucking die somemore
Cut so deep I can't fucking feel the pain anymore
I want to fucking die
I want to push everyone I ever loved away but then I'll get questions asking why
I want to die in anger
I'll kill my self brutally and hang myself up with a fucking wire hanger
I want to die in pain
Feel why its so fucking hard too breathe because I'm going insane
I want to die in grief
Everyone will say he's the boy who cried wolf and shake there heads in disbelief
I want to die in guilt
So I worry and out more pressure than what's been built
I want to die proud and filled with joy
So everyone can believe that bullshit and never know the story of this depressing boy
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#10
sadteens
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"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.
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