In My Heart
- Reads 11
- Votes 0
- Parts 2
Ongoing6m
Last published Wed, Oct 5, 2016
I've been at the bottom. I watched people I love, drown in sorrow and regret. I've watched them ease away the pain away with a temporary fix of their drug of choice. When I'm at the bottom, that's what I want to do. I want the pain to go away. I want to start it on fire, and watch it burn. I want to light it up, inhale and forget. I want to drink it until its gone. But in my heart, I know there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I know that my life is worth the fight. So the struggle is what I choose. Most of the time...
All Rights Reserved
#969
survivor
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Addict In Black ✔
USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."Complete
The flame of Attraction.....(Completed)
I don't know what happened but I took my heel off and played with Jamie's member underneath the table, he gave me that look. The pills made me want to do things that would get me in trouble. "Oh baby you don't want to start that" "Oh but I do," I said biting my lower lip... He pulled my chair closer and slowly trailed his fingers under my dress exploring what was hidden by that white dress, what he wasn't expecting was I wasn't wearing any underwear... "Fuck ...... baby no underwear" he gave me a look that told me he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Then he played with his thumb slowly rubbing my wet pussy....then went to the most dangerous part and rubbed it ....the more I wanted the more he played with my feelings ....rubbing it and stopping giving me half kisses, biting my lower lip... He didn't prepare me... One finger then two than three...He had fun and took his time showing me why his fingers were magic fingers ... He got rougher and went in deeper, I tried to suppress the moan but it came out louder than I had anticipated as my body received a million feelings giving me the quivers... "Fuck" is all I could say when everyone turned and looked at us with disgust... 💫 I do not own the pictures I use 🤞🏽 ⚠️ WARNING this book has drug abuse, sexual content, violence, and mature language.Complete
Save Me
I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.Complete![Staying High [ DISCONTINUED ]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/39610045-256-k813289.jpg)
Staying High [ DISCONTINUED ]
[ DISCONTINUED ] "one day. all is ask is one day. just give me one day to prove to you that i made a wrong choice of loving him and i shall show you what true love feels like." ! Ah, the nice clicking sound of a lighter that is lights up a flame. A flame that could burn anything; a flame that could light up a joint, making me a person that I never knew I was. Smoking a joint and staying high all the time is the only chance that I could forget him. Oh, I wish I could. All Rights Reserved © joey ; wxntrlcs [ 2015 ]Complete
Unhealthy Obsession |18+|
-Let's get this straight. From a dead end job to a useless crazy ex boyfriend- my happiness is with my best friend yet the fear of our relationship ending completely scares me and id rather fake it and be in fear than find out and never be happy. It sucks, seeing him everyday and knowing what i feel for him and how deep those feelings go is painful...- But when he comes around everything changes for the best and for the worst. As a whole they are deeply loved and equally as hated by others but the love from one another is undeniable, if only she wasnt so selfish with her choices and words- -Lying, cheating, sneaking, crying- many acts and emotions come from within when there's someone you love unaware of that love.. Possibly growing to love someone else right before your eyes..Its gut wrenching, i know because ive fucked up. Its worse when you're aware of the harm you cause yourself and others but dont care how the outcome turns out to be. Why would it matter how it effects you if youre used to pain and people leaving? it wouldnt. All because you take comfort in your own mind and mental illness, once you realize you have freewill it may become a bad thing if youre careless.- - Gabriella White.Complete
Lie To Me.
I don't know who I am. I have clues but it's only bits and pieces. I have a name, or at least I've been given one. I have a life, it's not necessarily worth living, but I'm alive. I have a story but I don't think there's a point in sharing. Yet here we are. *Triggering content*Complete
Altered
Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.Complete
Mystery in Fishnet Tights
Love and alcohol and relapses and flashbacks and drugs and living and the enjoyment of impossible youth and teens and love and life and parties and friends and abuse and sacrifices and love and running and staying and returning and love and everything that makes living with an addiction hard.Complete
USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."
More detailsContent Guidelines